I've noticed over the past few months I've been struggling to get anything done. As a toddler mom, I probably never have enough time or energy for everything I want to do, but with a few prolonged bouts of illness this summer, I’ve been struggling more than usual. As someone who is used to being productive and going after my goals, it’s been difficult to deal with this season where I have nothing left to give. Physically or mentally.
One of the difficulties of having a young child is that you often have so many balls in the air at once, and you are so focused on keeping them going, you can’t think about anything else. I’ve got to keep my son alive, which includes bathing, feeding (even though he only likes three things), and forcing him to sleep the best I can. Maintain the house while he simultaneously tries to destroy it. Remember snacks for daycare and the swim stuff for lessons. And that doesn’t even touch on all the needs for my evil day job. It can be overwhelming to keep all those plates spinning when you’re already on empty. Trying to remember everything is a full-time job of its own.
So this month, I made a list of everything that need to get done on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis (a quarterly or yearly list might be necessary too, but I'm holding off on those until I've refined the system more). I assigned everything a day of the week and created a daily to do list of every day of the week with everything I need to do, down to putting the recycle in the bin each night. What days the laundry is done. What day I fill the coffee pods. What day I clean the fridge. Anything that needs to get done. Thereby allowing myself to release those thoughts from my mind. I don’t need to worry about when the flowers were last watered or groceries were ordered, because I have a day set aside for that and I know it will be done on that day, and it doesn’t need to be done sooner. If it did, it would be on my list sooner.
And as the month progressed, I’ve added more and more things to lists. More areas of stress or irritation that can be solved by being ahead of the game. I create list of items in the house that need to be constantly restocked, and designated a day to when I would determine if they needed to be purchased or not. No more getting home from the grocery store only to realize I’m out of soap and I need to go back. I’ve moved some activities from the morning to the evening, such as refilling the coffee pot with water (because nothing is more upsetting to my morning than having to delay getting coffee because there is no water in the pot), focusing my nights to set up the best morning, and day, I can.
I've even started adding meal planning to my daily list. Giving each day’s dinner a theme, such as Mexican on Tuesdays and Pizza on Friday. It might not be an exact meal, but even just having a theme limits my options, and allows me to decide what to make for dinner faster.
And so far, it’s been working well. It’s amazing the freedom taking these many little decisions throughout the day off my plate has created. I don't have to wonder if I should do the laundry, or if it’s been too long since I’ve scooped the cat’s litter, or if we are almost out of laundry pods. I have a day for that, a system for that, and until it shows up on my list, I don’t need to worry about it.
And limiting how many decisions I have to make throughout the day has freed up my mind for other things. Most importantly for creativity and writing. I didn’t realize how much all those little decisions were draining my energy. How much trying to keep everything in my head was stealing my creativity. Until it was gone. I just knew I was always too tired, too overstimulated to focus on writing. I never looked deeper.
But now that I’ve freed up some of this mental headspace, I’m able to think about my characters. To ponder what they are doing, how they arrived in their current circumstances, and how to get them out of it (and probably their clothes). I’m able to hear the words again, and get random ideas while walking or doing dishes like I used to.
I’m still working through the kinks of this new system, and finding new areas I can embrace to eliminate even more decisions from my daily routine. And once I have it perfected, I’m sure life will change. My son and his needs will no doubt change over time. As will mine. But finding these areas of relief, even if it’s just for this moment in time, has been so vital to my mental health.
So I encourage you, if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed in this season of your life for any reason, or even if you’re not feeling overwhelmed but just feel your life could improve with more organization and focus, take a moment to write down everything that is bogging you down. Everything that splits your focus, or raises your stress, and trying to create a system to eliminate or minimize it. Find ways you can take duties off your mind and put them on paper, and free your mental space up for more. No matter how difficult it might sound to start, it will be well worth it in the end.
