I hope you all had a happy and healthy start into the New Year.
My latest WIP is done - the Christmas holidays and a few days of vacation gave me enough time to write the last paragraphs. But I'm not done yet. The ending is okay, but not what I was aiming for. I hope to come up with an appropriate, more satisfying final scene than the one I wrote.
Do you know that feeling? You want to finish a story, but then you realize that something is amiss, or not right, or doesn't fit? In that case, I save the story and let it rest for a few weeks. Most of the time, my muse and I come up with a better solution or rewrite the entire last chapter to give it a different direction.
Although I would love to write a cliffhanger story, I shy away from it because I don't want to turn off the reader. What do you think about that? When you write a cliffhanger, how do you let your audience know that there will be a second part of the story? Let me know your thoughts about it.
My muse and I discussed the story of the book I am about to present to you for a long time. We struggled with the characters and the plot before the first scene was written. In the end, we found a way to tell you a story about a Mafia family and their dealings in the Washington, DC area.
Clandestine Dealings (book #8 of the series with Nick & Jacklyn)
FBI Agent
Nicolas Hayes and his team are confronted with a murder series that started in
Florida and continues in Virginia. When a wealthy company owner is poisoned to
death at a party in Washington, DC, the agents investigate whether there is a
connection between the victims. The killer is a master of disguise, and when
the investigation stalls, Hayes needs the help of his lover and her friends to
track down the culprit.
Umberto, a crime syndicate bruiser, shares his home with Michael, a dancing
instructor. Their happy life is interrupted by the death of Umberto’s boss, the
mighty businessman Eduardo Vianone. Umberto has to move to DC to serve
Eduardo’s younger brother, Luigi, and his gang of thugs. His allegiance is put
to the test when Luigi announces that he will expand his brother’s enterprise
along the East Coast and expects Umberto to clear the way. To his chagrin,
Michael is also very curious about what his friend is up to and is not easily
pleased.
The hunt is on when the FBI suspects Umberto of being involved in the murders.
Will Agent Hayes find the true killer before he strikes again?
Excerpt
On the first of June—as on every warm summer morning—Eduardo Vianone sat at the
pool of his residence close to Miami studying the newspaper, drinking his
protein shake with strawberries and yogurt, and reminiscing about his family
situation. He was thinking about how he could hand a part of his business to
his younger brother, Luigi, without looking senile. After all, he was
seventy-one and still had his wits together. If he retired from business
without a plausible reason, competitors would smell weakness. He could not
afford losing the empire he had built over forty years. The thought of losing
face made him uneasy.
Without a solution at hand, he emptied the shake, folded the paper, and dropped
his robe on the way to the pool. It was ten o’clock in the morning and already
hot, and he longed to dive into the cool water to relax and, hopefully, gain
new insight on how to proceed.
His younger brother, Luigi Lou Vianone, lived in the suburbs of Washington, DC,
and ran his own business—racketeering and drug dealing, mostly. As far as
Eduardo knew, Luigi was involved in the construction trade, too, and strove for
expansion. Though it seemed wise to give up the leading role at his age,
Eduardo hesitated. Luigi had never been the most successful executive. He had a
temper that was hard to control, and since his business transactions lacked
wisdom and foresight, he tried to compensate with rough retaliation. Eduardo
doubted his brother would change his behavior once he shouldered a greater
responsibility. He had been impetuous as a child, and unfortunately, that had
not changed in adult life.
Eduardo decided to reach out to him for a conversation. After that, he would
know better whether to hand him the honor of leadership or not. If he decided
against giving his brother control over a part of the business, it would be
wise to choose his successor from the most influential personalities in his
large and complex company. It would have to be a man with enough stamina to
stand up against Luigi, if need be. He had a loyal man in mind, a man of trust
and resilience, a man with years of experience—tough but clever. He was the
only serious rival to his brother, and he had known him for years. Eduardo knew
he had to come to a decision, and the longer he pondered, the more he favored
splitting his business and selecting two men instead of one. It could be
considered a kind of sport—a competition of the fittest.
Slowly, for the water was cool, Eduardo entered the pool. His heart was beating
fast, and his breathing accelerated as he pushed off the ground at the steps
and swam toward the center. He turned on his back and squinted against the
sunlight on yet another bright day with blue sky. Though the beach wasn’t far
away, he preferred the tranquility of his residence, where only a few employees
were working and no one bothered him. They all knew that Eduardo cherished his
solitude and wouldn’t tolerate any disturbance. Later in the day, he would be
happy to attend to the needs of his customers.
Eduardo swam to the rear end and back the same way. His mouth was dry and
increasingly numb, and he licked his lips, pondering whether the shake had been
off. While he continued his exercise, his face started itching, and the
numbness spread from his head to his arms. His throat constricted, and when he
opened his mouth to cry for help, he had no voice. Fearing that he was
suffering a heart attack, for his heart was beating frantically, Eduardo tried
to reach the steps and climb out of the pool. His arms didn’t obey, breathing
became difficult, and then his legs stopped working. Eyes wide with terror, he
was unable to swim. Eduardo’s head went under water. He made a last, feeble
attempt at reaching the surface, hoping the butler would show up to clean the
table, but it was too early. Eduardo had made it explicitly clear he didn’t
want to be bothered at the pool. His rules were law to the bitter end.
Eduardo looked up at the sun and the blue sky of southern Florida and thought
that his life had been a good one and yet too short.
1 comment:
I know what you mean, Ann. Sometimes, everything in the story just clicks. At other times, something's wrong and I can't put my finger on it. Ah, the joys of writing. :)
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