Killing Romance Tropes: The Grumpy Side of Love

 

I write romance because falling in love is a wonderful experience, but keeping love alive is tricky. Some couples, after that first heady flush of romance, just aren’t going to be a long-term item. And when I happen to find these disaster-bound folk in a romance book, it’s even more frustrating. So let’s tackle the disaster signs. We’ll start with those sulky brooders…

 

Bad Boy Hero and Nasty Girl Heroine

 

   The Bad Boy is sulky, diffident, and impersonal. He’s usually a multi-millionaire or someone with enormous power. The woman who loves him is obsessed; she has to win his love. Eventually, he’ll break down, declare undying passion, and their true love story promises eternal bliss.

 

   The Nasty Girl is an ambitious, glamorous, and successful ice chip. But when the perfect male appears on the scene, he alone knows how to warm her glacial soul. Eventually, she evolves into a blazing, loving inferno.

 

   Really?

 

   Can we really believe that sulky Bad Boy will become Mr. Nice Guy and stay that way? That Ms. Nasty Girl will be tender, generous, and sweet? Come on. We all know from experience that bad behavior, like bodies in a lake, will always surface. Wait and see what happens when love’s glitter turns into familiarity and sexy passion ebbs.

 

   Bad Boy will begin by ignoring his ladylove’s opinions. He’s the one who calls the shots, and who needs absolute control. An expert at criticism and taunting, he enjoys isolating his loyal partner from friends and family.

   Nasty Girl demands her lover be her personal assistant. If he doesn’t obey, she claims victimhood. Terrified of everything she can’t control, spontaneity is anathema to her, and so is disobedience.

   

    Sulky, chip-on-the-shoulder, spoiled folks have a life-long affliction. Self-interested, they need to get their way, and they’ll do it with pouts, long silences, nasty words, infidelity, and even violence.

 

   When nurtured by an overly indulgent, admiring parent who doled out non-stop praise and endless attention, children grow up to be sulky Kings and demanding Queens. Never satisfied, some dare justify their demanding behavior by claiming they weren’t loved enough, or that other romantic partners betrayed them. Therefore, they can’t change. Why should they?

 

   In other words, Bad Boys and Nasty Girls will always revert to form.

 

   Do you still crave those tough-love romances? Do you believe they’ll work? Why?

 

Writer, social critical artist, satirist, and impenitent teller of tall tales, J. Arlene Culiner never hesitates to read other people’s mail or eavesdrop on any private conversation. She delights in every nasty, funny, ridiculous, or boastful story, and when she can’t uncover salacious gossip, she makes it up.

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