A unicorn walks into a bar and…wait, what was I saying?
Look, between what I’m pretty sure is premature senility and wanting to barf all the time, I’m barely hanging in there. At this point, I need a break after solving xeno murders, fighting murderous fox shifters, and my best friend nearly murdering me for…reasons.
But do I get a break? No, I get an invitation to the court of the Unseelie fae, and it’s the kind of invitation you can’t refuse because it’s from the king who flip-flops between wanting to share a pizza with me and stabbing me.
The upside is that I can see my best friend Marly, the newly minted and slightly murderous Unseelie fae queen. The downside? Apparently, I have to prevent a civil war between powerful magical beings, and I don’t even get a can opener for self-defense.
Just like clockwork, I’m back to running from supernatural squids, double-dealing with triple-dealing fae who probably all want me dead, and getting tangled up with a beautiful, broken-hearted unicorn who makes me feel guilty, and I don't know why.
After all, we've never met before...have we?
‘A unicorn walks into a bar….’ That is not a joke.
Look, I’m a bartender, I have nothing to do with the xenos.
I don’t care if it’s an elf or a vampire--as long as they don’t bother me, I steer clear.
I have my reasons--you can see them in the scars on my neck. I never wanted to get involved. But my life changed for the second time when I saved the life of a unicorn. I made an enemy of something old--old and evil, and whatever it was, it’ll be back for another try.
I also made a friend when I decided to help March. He’s only been a human man for a day. I’m responsible for him now. He’s my friend…and maybe something more.
Maybe a lot more. It doesn’t matter to me that he isn’t magical anymore. I don’t care if he’s not PURE. But he does.
A unicorn walks into a bar…and leaves with my heart. He’s gone, and now I have a unicorn-named-March-shaped hole in my life.
But, I get it. Unicorns aren't meant to live in a world where they have to deal with putting gas in the car, getting groceries, and paying cell phone bills. I'm trying to get past this. Really, I am. It's just that everyone constantly talks about him, from his immortal ex-girlfriend, to reality TV-obsessed Fae, to even my own fully-human friends.
Even his enemies are still obsessed with him. I learned that the hard way.
Did I mention the part where I end up on the run—again—from an old, powerful enemy of his? Yeah. Fun times. I just want to be left to get over my broken heart while watching home improvement shows and eating ice cream. But mysterious disappearances, murder, and a quest for affordable real estate in Washington D.C. keep getting in the way. Maybe that's just life.
Sometimes we get what we want.
Sometimes, we get what we need.
And sometimes, we get what we deserve. I guess you could call it…The March Effect.
A unicorn walks into a bar...except there are no unicorns or bars in the court of the Unseelie fae, which sucks because Marly could really use a drink.
Honestly, going from human to vampire, to something not quite mortal would drive anyone to drink. Being hounded by a grudge-holding kitsune didn't help, either. But when the king of the Unseelie fae declared Marly his queen and the hope of his people, it seemed her troubles were over, and off they went to his magical kingdom in a reality-tv-worthy happily ever after.
Except it's more hard landing than happy ending. Marly is thrown into the crosshairs of ancient hatreds where war masquerades as etiquette, shadows must beg for light, and things with tentacles are just waiting for something to go wrong. And something is going wrong...very wrong.
With every mis-step, she stumbles closer to the edge of a darkness waiting to consume her, and the king's love is like a poison that can cure or kill. Her only hope is to unveil the truth dancing in the great mirrors in the sky, even if that sky comes crashing down.
A Poisoned Garden
A unicorn walks into a bar and…wait, what was I saying?
Look, between what I’m pretty sure is premature senility and wanting to barf all the time, I’m barely hanging in there. At this point, I need a break after solving xeno murders, fighting murderous fox shifters, and my best friend nearly murdering me for…reasons.
But do I get a break? No, I get an invitation to the court of the Unseelie fae, and it’s the kind of invitation you can’t refuse because it’s from the king who flip-flops between wanting to share a pizza with me and stabbing me.
The upside is that I can see my best friend Marly, the newly minted and slightly murderous Unseelie fae queen. The downside? Apparently, I have to prevent a civil war between powerful magical beings, and I don’t even get a can opener for self-defense.
Just like clockwork, I’m back to running from supernatural squids, double-dealing with triple-dealing fae who probably all want me dead, and getting tangled up with a beautiful, broken-hearted unicorn who makes me feel guilty, and I don't know why.
After all, we've never met before...have we?
A unicorn walks into a bar…it's cheaper than therapy.
Therapy, you say?
Sign up Marly, the angry ex-Unseelie-fae-queen.
Or how about Sasha, the bitter exiled-Unseelie-fae-king?
And definitely Ruby, the mortal bartender who lost her heart when she found her memories of March, the unicorn shifter she loved.
A good therapist would say learn to live with the consequences of choices, but Ruby isn't ready to accept that a choice she didn't even know she made landed March as the prisoner of the Seelie fae court. And Marly and Sasha have some feelings about reclaiming the throne of the Unseelie court.
But consequences beget consequences. Amid dying kingdoms and the dying embers of old loves and older hatreds, friends become betrayers, lovers keep secrets, and someone or something is out for blood-red revenge.
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1 comment:
I love the premise of A Poisoned Garden. Can't wait to read. :)
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