The surprise pregnancy: one night of sex with an unknown (sometimes she can’t even remember what happened), the couple separate — no wonder because they don’t know each other. Then, a few weeks later, she discovers she’s pregnant. Now what? In a romance book, he and she meet again by chance and he’s thrilled to bits about becoming a daddy. Or, years later, he discovers he’s father to an adorable tyke. And then? Well… he and she settle into true love, complicity, and eternal bliss.
How realistic does that sound?
A woman might be delighted by motherhood, but a surprise pregnancy usually results in a hostile reaction from a future father. Sometimes he’s afraid of the responsibility — after all, this has not been a mutual decision with someone he knows well. Then there are all those dreary obligations such as child support, and living arrangements, and schooling.
Despite the initial attraction that led to that lusty one-night stand, having a baby around is a game changer, and not in a dreamy, positive way. Researches have long studied how children affect even steady relationships, and couples without children have twice as much chance of personal satisfaction and happiness in their relationship. Parenthood is stressful, and when the pregnancy has been unplanned, the negative impact is even greater.
Here’s another complication: in the surprise baby trope he and she don’t know each other. Sure, the one night of sex was great, but building any relationship is always difficult. Just think of all the obnoxious, self-serving habits and ghastly character traits he and she are going to discover over the next few days, weeks, or months. And that’s when the romance book turns into a murder mystery.
J. Arlene Culiner
https://linktr.ee/j.arleneculiner
https://www.j-arleneculiner.com
2 comments:
Great post, J. I've never understood how having a child after a one-night stand is romantic or ends up in happily-ever-after. Like many things in our culture, it's a myth. Relationships are hard. Adding a 'we-barely-know-each-other' AND a surprise child to the mix is a recipe for disaster, not a dream come true. This goes double for the child who didn't ask to be here but has to suffer the consequences of what its parents have done.
How right you are, Tina. How strange that people want to believe in this myth!
Post a Comment