Perfectionism vs. Progress

 

Free use image from Pixabay

I wrote this piece during an Eating Disorders Anonymous writing meeting. I felt it was appropriate to share it here because perfectionism and imposter syndrome are something many writers struggle with. I am including the writing prompt used.

https://eatingdisordersanonymous.com 

Prompt #2
page 2
On Emotional Eating Pamphlet

More on Recovery
Changing our thinking makes it possible to change our feelings and behavior, but developing
willingness and learning new skills is a process, not an event.

I have never been a patient person. My impatience combined with my perfectionism tend to prevent me from making progress. If I am not able to do something perfectly, I tend to give up on it. 

I always wanted to be a prodigy of some kind. When I was younger, I wanted to be a musical prodigy. Alas, no such luck. I plonked away on several instruments, never really taking the time to learn any of them. Eventually, I gave up on playing music entirely. It has been around 35 years since I last touched a musical instrument.

I've always had some skill with words, but again, I am no prodigy. There are times when this has disappointed me to the point where I have considered quitting writing entirely. However, when I have tried this, I become emotionally dysregulated.

Writing allows me to make sense of the constant ADHD chatter in my dumb dome. I suppose music also did that, but not in quite the same way that writing does. 

I can write nonfiction all day long. It helps, but there is a part of my psyche that only fiction can soothe. Since my mother died, I have been struggling to complete fiction projects. I seem to be emerging from the fog a little. However, the voice that tells me I'm not a good writer is always there.

https://bit.ly.com/OrneryOwlsRoost