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I wrote this piece during an Eating Disorders Anonymous writing meeting. I felt it was appropriate to share it here because perfectionism and imposter syndrome are something many writers struggle with. I am including the writing prompt used.
https://eatingdisordersanonymous.com
Prompt #2
page 2
On Emotional Eating Pamphlet
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Changing our thinking makes it possible to change our feelings and behavior, but developing
willingness and learning new skills is a process, not an event.
I have never been a patient person. My impatience combined with my perfectionism tend to prevent me from making progress. If I am not able to do something perfectly, I tend to give up on it.
I always wanted to be a prodigy of some kind. When I was younger, I wanted to be a musical prodigy. Alas, no such luck. I plonked away on several instruments, never really taking the time to learn any of them. Eventually, I gave up on playing music entirely. It has been around 35 years since I last touched a musical instrument.
I've always had some skill with words, but again, I am no prodigy. There are times when this has disappointed me to the point where I have considered quitting writing entirely. However, when I have tried this, I become emotionally dysregulated.
Writing allows me to make sense of the constant ADHD chatter in my dumb dome. I suppose music also did that, but not in quite the same way that writing does.
I can write nonfiction all day long. It helps, but there is a part of my psyche that only fiction can soothe. Since my mother died, I have been struggling to complete fiction projects. I seem to be emerging from the fog a little. However, the voice that tells me I'm not a good writer is always there.
https://bit.ly.com/OrneryOwlsRoost
1 comment:
I hear you, Cara. I also suffer from a quest for perfectionism, which brings on anxiety and depression.
For those unfamiliar with Imposter Syndrome: Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where highly accomplished individuals experience persistent self-doubt, feeling like a "fraud" despite objective evidence of their competence. Instead of owning their success, they attribute achievements to luck or timing and live in constant fear of being exposed.
Yep, got that, too. When someone - anyone - praises my work, I feel great for about 2 seconds then wonder if they're being sincere or if they want something from me.
Being creative is a definite bitch at times.
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