Why are fictional love interests so bloody attractive?
Back when I wrote this article, I was steeped in a culture – or perhaps a cultural bubble – that took a derisive view of romance. Critics would call them women’s fantasies, full of ripped heroes who were 100% unrealistic.
That, I’ve realised, is the biggest fiction of all. To me, these central characters of our beloved genre embody vital relationship-improving qualities that decades of unhealthy attitudes and toxic norms have conditioned us to neglect.
What qualities? Heaps. Like, so many. But here are my personal big three:
They’re open to new experiences
Which don’t have to be big adventurous outings like skydiving or a survival holiday in Fiji. They can be as intimate and personal as falling in love with a new person, allowing oneself to be vulnerable, and confronting one’s inner demons in order to recover from deeply buried childhood trauma preventing them from finding happiness.
The point is, the best romantic love interests are open to the experiences that allow a person to grow, so they can grow together with their partner within a thriving relationship.
L to R: Owen overcomes complacency and rediscovers a love for his work in It Starts with a Kiss. Sam’s self-confidence develops as he gets to know the woman he wants in The Not So Nice Girl. Zuntx warriors learn sexytime comes easier when you’re not a massive arsehole in Star Brides: The Meat Market.
They’re kind
We’re all driven by our ego to some degree, but an attractive romance novel partner knows that love is more important than pride. When given the choice of being right or being compassionate, they’d well … they’d probably pick being right at first, because the book needs dramatic conflict. But eventually they realise success isn’t about winning an argument.
Happily Ever After comes with a tacit acknowledgement of our common limitation: that “ever after” is never as long as you’d like it to be because there’s that whole death thing we’ve all gotta deal with eventually. Success in love is about cherishing the one you care about, and both of you making the most of the time you get to share together.
L to R: Zain’s kindness and hot cacao gives Millie a new lease on life and love in Papillon. Alexei’s attention and care helps Sofia heal her broken heart in The Only Question That Matters. Even if Bristol’s an alpha-male monster, his love for Carmen brings out his softer side in Dark Hearts Aflame.
They look after themselves
That “hot sexy love interest image” is usually pitched as solely about looking good. But you only need to witness ageing couples, where one person carries the load of the other neglecting to look after their health, and you begin to suspect the hot love interest might actually be more concerned with self-care.
Life is hard and unpredictable, and objectively unfair. Sometimes we’re genetically, culturally and socioeconomically destined to deal with certain setbacks and challenges. So on those rare occasions where you DO get to control what happens to you, why wouldn’t you choose the option that makes life better for yourself and your loved ones? A loving relationship means sharing the load of each other’s burdens. Genuine self-care, then, is an act of commitment to the one you love. It’s a way to say, hey I value you enough to share the load of both of us growing old.
Sounds bloody attractive to me.
Sure, the physical prowess is a major hot factor in sports romance, but the idea of these guys looking after themselves well into old age is what get my heart going.
More of my nonsense in Dot Club
This article first appeared (albeit more messily) in my email newsletter. I’ve been writing this newsletter since 2017, and it’s my favourite (and right now only) way to keep in touch with my readers.
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JL Peridot writes love letters to the future on devices from the past. Visit jlperidot.com for the full catalogue of her work or subscribe to Dot Club for a collection of her tiny stories.
1 comment:
Awesome post, JL.
As a teen, I read those 'snarling' hero books. Good god. If a guy talked to me like that, I'd smack him upside his head and tell him to get lost.
To me, romance isn't getting diamonds, candy, flowers, or that other stuff. It's a guy taking the time to listen to me - without trying to fix things. Just listening. What a gift.
Treating me as an equal is vital. So is a sense of humor. Looks don't matter all that much. The few guys I've met who are movie-star handsome were also jerks. Maybe there are some Adonis's who are also great people, but I haven't met any.
Granted, romances are fantasies, but I like my characters to be real, too. They have flaws (who doesn't?) but like real people they try to work through them to become better people.
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