Monday, May 7, 2018

Harlie has a confession to make!


I have a confession to make.  I'm an EXTROVERT!!!  Why do I confess this?  Because I finally have figured out why I can't finish writing a book.  Oh, I have 3 books in various stages but I can't seem to sit my butt down and finish them.  I can't stand sitting all day at a computer.  I need to move, be with people, go places and do things.  There are some days that I only sit down at the computer at night.  Seriously.  And then it is only to see if anyone is yelling at me for missed posts.  Which happens.

Of course, some of you will tell me to just sit down and write.  The words will come regardless of how many that I write that day.  I can't do that.  I can't handle deadlines.  The pressure.  It gives my anxiety, anxiety.  I figured out that about my anxiety a few years ago when it came to the blog.  I had a pretty bad panic attack right then and there and it freaked out my husband and son.

I actually had an assistant for the blog and she got sick while I was on vacation.  I had NO idea that she was sick until the last day of my vacation when her husband finally called me.   I only had my laptop with me, for emergencies and had to write emails to authors and publishers what had happened and it took me 3 months to finally catch up.  Hell, I didn't even check the blog email that week because I thought it was handled.   By the way, the assistant and I are still friends but I knew that I could never trust someone with my blog again.  It's my name that is attached to it, so it's my responsibility.

Things that I learned from that experience:

1.  I slowed down when it comes to the review blog.  I barely have anything going on during the summer.  Since I work every day now at school, I need the summer to decompress and just read for my pleasure.

2.  I'm responsible for my blogs.  No one else.

3.  Authors are more forgiving than publishers.

4.  Check the blog email at least once a day.  Duh!

5.  Realized that I actually was not ever going to be a popular review blog.  No matter who was on it.  My street cred with publishers is STILL on shaky ground.  Not to mention NetGalley.  I'm still not auto-approved for any publishers.

6.  Lastly, writing and blogging don't define who I am.  I'm a wife, mother, dog mother, daughter, niece, aunt, a coach's wife, baseball-loving mom.

This is my life.  

Does any of this mean that I will never finish those books?  Absolutely not but I don't worry about it anymore.  I let go of the blog, too.  I still love blogging and will continue to do that but again, I don't worry about it like I used to.

Yes, I would LOVE  to lick him all over. Thank you. #TeamCap

And no, we haven't seen the new Avengers movie.  After baseball season we will.  No spoilers.

So there you have it.  I'm proud to be an Extrovert.  I do like my alone time and quiet but to sit down at a computer and type away.  Nope.  Maybe later.  My anxiety is finally in check and I would like to keep it that way.


Tina Donahue said...

Sounds like writing isn't for you, Harlie. I know if I don't write, I get anxious. I need it as much as breathing and eating. That's the way I've been from little on (nine years old or earlier; though nine is when I wrote my first book). Most of my author friends are the same - they have to write. it's not an option and doesn't have anything to do with being an extrovert or an introvert. It has to do with passion for writing. You either have it or you don't, just as some people have to perform (acting, dancing, singing, etc). The thought of having to do that would make me freak.

It's okay not to want to write.

I do know publishers expect consistent product, and no author can really blame them. It's a business. No different from any other, except that books are the product.

In this business if you let a publisher down, you're more or less toast unless you use another pen name and start over.

Fiona McGier said...

I love to write. But the bills keep coming in, and the royalties don't. So I work 2 jobs during the school year, which leaves me exhausted, with no energy left to do anything more than try to grab 6 or 7 hours of sleep per night. That's why I can't wait until the summer.

In the summer, I "only" work 1 job, so I can write! I, too, have 3 books almost done. But the one I worked on last summer is priority 1, since those folks keep yelling at me to finish the book and get it to a publisher. And the folks in the sequel want their turn also. I'll also try to get the other 2 finished, and I've been exploring how to self-pub the 2 I pulled from an old publisher. Too much too do, not enough time, ever. Husband says maybe in 5 years we'll be able to retire? Then I will write all day! Heaven!

But I, too, am an extrovert, Harlie. The real acid test is how you recharge. Most of us can be extroverted or introverted, as time/events require. But how do you recharge? Do you recharge with people around you? Or by yourself? I recharge by calling up friends and having dinner with them...on the ONE night per week that I'm not working, or with my husband! My husband, BTW, recharges alone. The old, "opposites attract" thing. But we make it work.

jean hart stewart said...

There's a lot to absorb in the blog, and especially in the comments above. As for me, I can't not write. Impossible. Although I'm slower than Tina. I didn't write my first book until I was about eleven. All I remember of it is the heroine's name was Aurora and I was so proud of picking that name.

Harlie Williams said...

@Tina, you are probably right. I wrote one book and loved the process. And yes, even editing. My thoughts are since I've been on the other side of publishing as an intern with a publisher, I got soured. I would still love to be paid to read the slush pile at Harlequin but that's never going to happen.

@Fiona, yes, I'm still waiting. ;) Love you! School is almost DONE!!!! How I recharge is actually reading. Reading a book that I don't have to review. Like Clancy, Grisham, etc. I don't read romance books to recharge.

@Jean I've always since I can remember made up stories in my head but to actually put pen to paper? Nope.

Thanks for the feedback. :)

Harlie Williams said...


Another way to recharge is listening to my 7th-grade son with all the drama at school. Cracks me up every time. I realize that its serious to him but in the grand scheme of things...it won't matter next month.

Fiona McGier said...

My youngest is my only daughter...a real "mini-me." But whereas I was on my knees thanking the good Lord when she graduated from middle school, which is why I'm in high schools only...she teaches in middle schools! When I pointed out to her, with a shudder, "The drama! The angst!" she responded, "Mom, they need my love." Spoken like a true teacher!

You're right about what he cares so much about today, will dissipate by tomorrow. My twenty-something sons don't even remember any details about high school, let alone middle school. But that's merciful actually. It's never enjoyed...more like endured.

This, too, shall pass.

Fiona McGier said...

Oh, and if you recharge by reading, then you're more of an introvert than you realize, girl!

Harlie Williams said...

@Fiona, I wouldn't say that. Between baseball, the tween drama, school, vacations and general chaos that is my life...reading is the only thing that doesn't require my husband or son. And some nights, I don't even get read a page. And most of the time, I fall asleep.

I love my 1st and 2nd graders. Truly I do but I miss being at the high school. I have more high schoolers tell me that they miss me. I miss them, too. Just my place is with the younger ones. I finally found my niche and nice knowing that when I do come home, I've earned that paycheck. LOL!