I have a confession to make. I'm an EXTROVERT!!! Why do I confess this? Because I finally have figured out why I can't finish writing a book. Oh, I have 3 books in various stages but I can't seem to sit my butt down and finish them. I can't stand sitting all day at a computer. I need to move, be with people, go places and do things. There are some days that I only sit down at the computer at night. Seriously. And then it is only to see if anyone is yelling at me for missed posts. Which happens.
Of course, some of you will tell me to just sit down and write. The words will come regardless of how many that I write that day. I can't do that. I can't handle deadlines. The pressure. It gives my anxiety, anxiety. I figured out that about my anxiety a few years ago when it came to the blog. I had a pretty bad panic attack right then and there and it freaked out my husband and son.
I actually had an assistant for the blog and she got sick while I was on vacation. I had NO idea that she was sick until the last day of my vacation when her husband finally called me. I only had my laptop with me, for emergencies and had to write emails to authors and publishers what had happened and it took me 3 months to finally catch up. Hell, I didn't even check the blog email that week because I thought it was handled. By the way, the assistant and I are still friends but I knew that I could never trust someone with my blog again. It's my name that is attached to it, so it's my responsibility.
Things that I learned from that experience:
1. I slowed down when it comes to the review blog. I barely have anything going on during the summer. Since I work every day now at school, I need the summer to decompress and just read for my pleasure.
2. I'm responsible for my blogs. No one else.
3. Authors are more forgiving than publishers.
4. Check the blog email at least once a day. Duh!
5. Realized that I actually was not ever going to be a popular review blog. No matter who was on it. My street cred with publishers is STILL on shaky ground. Not to mention NetGalley. I'm still not auto-approved for any publishers.
6. Lastly, writing and blogging don't define who I am. I'm a wife, mother, dog mother, daughter, niece, aunt, a coach's wife, baseball-loving mom.
|This is my life.|
Does any of this mean that I will never finish those books? Absolutely not but I don't worry about it anymore. I let go of the blog, too. I still love blogging and will continue to do that but again, I don't worry about it like I used to.
Yes, I would LOVE to lick him all over. Thank you. #TeamCap
And no, we haven't seen the new Avengers movie. After baseball season we will. No spoilers.
So there you have it. I'm proud to be an Extrovert. I do like my alone time and quiet but to sit down at a computer and type away. Nope. Maybe later. My anxiety is finally in check and I would like to keep it that way.