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Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Does size really matter? Men and women disagree...duh!

In the  men's magazine that my husband has been getting forever, (no, this one doesn't have any nude pictures) there is an advice column written by a woman, who will answer any personal questions that men have about women. They still seem befuddled about what women want, just as their fathers and their fathers' fathers before them were. I'm always tempted to point out that, as Aretha Franklin said in her song, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" is what we all want. That, and listen to what we are saying about what truly gets us hot and what we want from you in the sack. But still, men want easy answers.

So there is a Twitter Poll question in the most recent issue, and men were asked if they thought women really care about size. 22% said that it matters a lot, and that bigger is always better. Said by someone who will never be limping around the next day, from a too-vigorous date who treated his cock like a battering ram, and gave you bruises where you weren't even aware you could feel pain. Sheesh! And there are different ideas of size. Men usually think that women want a longer truncheon, when in reality our passage isn't really all that long. It stretches, yes, but that can be painful, especially when the cervix gets battered. Ouch! In reality, if women are interested in size at all, most prefer wider over longer. Wider excites more nerve endings.

In the poll, 60% of men said that it only matters a bit, and it's not a deal-breaker. Now that's a much more sensible way of looking at things. Most men average between five-seven inches when raring to go, and much more than that is kind of a waste. Like that old male joke that in regards to breasts, anything more than a mouthful is wasted. Speaking of mouths, if the man wants you to deep throat him? Definitely, less is more! Learning to control that gag reflex is hard enough, without him banging on your tonsils!

The remaining 18% of men said that women actually care less about size, and more about the skill of a man's tongue. Now that's more like it!  The female columnist snarked that men who think size matters over oral skills are way off base. Considering that a man is ready instantly, and a woman needs to be won over by the prelims, to get her interested in the final round, that should be obvious...especially to men who claim to want to know how to please a woman. But still there is confusion, where there shouldn't be.

What is hotter? Lingerie or erotic romance novels?
The main thing still, is to treat the woman with respect. Even a woman who wants to be dominated in the bedroom, wants to be respected first and foremost. Sex is supposed to be a partnership, with both participants enthusiastic about pleasuring each other, as well as themselves. If you want to learn how to pleasure a woman, ask her. There really isn't a one-size-fits-all answer for us. If you're both too embarrassed to talk about sex with each other, you     shouldn't be trying to have it.

And if you are still wondering what women want, I can recommend quite a few erotic romance books, some written by me, that will illustrate for you what women find to be hot. It goes beyond men being visual, and women wanting a story. The way to a woman's bed is through her head. Get her mind buzzing and humming with sexual thoughts, and you'll both be satisfied!

BTW, I make a point of having some of my couples discuss size (and birth control) during and after their intimate moments. Men and women who truly care about each other, can talk about anything. And any man who feels inadequate, needs to just ask his woman if there's something else he should be doing. That can lead to fun experiments, as you indulge in each others' fantasies. Always a great way to make more magical and better sex...no matter what size wand you're packing! Remember:
It ain't the size of the wand, it's the skill of the magician!

You can find out more about my erotic romances at: http://www.fionamcgier.com


3 comments:

Tina Donahue said...

I blame the socialization of males in this country (patriarchal, macho, no emotions) on how deeply clueless men can be about feelings, including their own. Ask them - 'hey, how do you feel about ME cheating on YOU? Think that would be fun for you?' and they'd be hard-pressed to say it would be. Ask them if they'd like you ignoring, belittling, physically assaulting, emotionally assaulting them and I'd lay bets none would. Frankly, a dildo can (and has) stood in for a man's dick. Their equipment isn't that special, not even for procreation. There's always IVF. Absolutely nothing can replace friendship, loyalty, love, and commitment in a relationship. Males who offer that are the real men. The rest are little boys best ignored until they grow up.

jean hart stewart said...

GREAT COLUMN!

Fiona McGier said...

@Tina: I married one of the good guys. We tried to raise our 3 sons to be the kind of man their daddy is. The one who is married treats his wife well, and adores their baby. "You're welcome," to the women of the world. LOL!

@Jean: Thanks!

I think as romance writers, we try to create the kind of men we wish there were more of...and the kind of women who would deserve them. An idealized kind of world, admittedly. But we can dream, right?