Saturday, November 5, 2016

It's a Holiday Somewhere

Have you checked your calendar lately? Did you know that today is National Pickle Day? In honor of this momentous occasion, which was probably created by the fine folks at Heinz, I had a few sweet gherkins at lunch. It was the least I could do.

I ran across a list of these so-called commemorative days and was amazed to see that there’s a Pie Day, Popcorn Day, Take Your Dog to Work Day, and Run Naked Through the Park Day. That last one might be the status quo on certain beaches in Jamaica, and it probably isn’t too uncommon in Central Park or San Francisco, but I wouldn’t try it in Salt Lake City.

Every year we’re encouraged to buy cards, candy and flowers in honor of Sweetest Day. At first I thought this was a lame attempt to compete with Valentine’s Day until I did some research. Sweetest Day was thought up by a group of confectioners in Cleveland, Ohio in the 1920’s in an attempt to push their product during a typically slow time of the year. Then the people at Hallmark saw a gold rush and the rest is history.

Along the way some civic groups and causes staked their claims, so we have Earth Day, Arbor Day, National Grandparents Day and Administrative Professionals Day (changed from Secretary’s Day in 1989). We’ve also been treated to National Boss’ Day. If you notice, this usually falls on Sweetest Day, which means that for that one day, lips are not all you’ll have to kiss.

Certain months have also received the commemorative treatment. There’s Candy Month, Gay Pride Month, Foster Care Month, Date your Mate Month, National Hamburger Month, and National Accordion Awareness Month. That last one was no doubt started by the Lawrence Welk Memorial Society.

Some of these unofficial commemorative days are worthy of merit, such as Armed Forces Day, Patriot Day, Flag Day, National Teachers Day and Military Spouses Day, to name a few. But looking over the list, some of the others make you wag your head and wonder “Why?” Here are some of the more bizarre items.

“Lumpy Rug Day” – Not to be confused with Bad Comb-over Day.

“Star Wars Day” – May the day be with you!

“No Diet Day” – Also known as Thanksgiving.

“No Socks Day” – This is every day in the Florida Keys.

“Lost Sock Memorial Day” – Held in Key West, the Island of Lost Socks.

“Eat What You Want Day” – Isn’t this also known as Sunday?

“Twilight Zone Day” – This is every day where I work.

“Fatigue Syndrome Day” – I’d celebrate this one, but I’m just too tired.

“Blame Someone Else Day” – In Washington, D.C. they call this “Business-as-usual Day”.

“Love a Tree Day” – Druids of the world, unite!

“National Memo Day” – You’d better write this one down so you don’t forget to celebrate.

“National Wine Day” – I’ll drink to that.

“National Tap Dancing Day” – If you combine this with Wine Day, it should come easily whether you can tap dance or not.

“Save Your Hearing Day” – Huh?

“Flip a Coin Day” – Heads, you get the day off; tails, you work a double shift.

“National Doughnut Day” – Very popular with police officers.

“National Bubba Day” – Celebrated by Bubbas throughout the Ozarks.

“Repeat Day” – I said “Repeat Day.”

“National Gardening Exercise Day” – Get out and exercise with your plants.

“National Procrastination Day” – Date to be set once they get around to it.

“International Panic Day” – Known in the U.S. as “Election Day”.

“National Kissing Day” – Finally, a day set aside for lonely old men.

“Forgiveness Day” – Scheduled right after “Hold a Grudge Day”.

Check your calendars more closely in the future. You don’t want to make someone mad because you forget to send them an ear of corn on National Corn on the Cob Day.

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Tim Smith is an award-winning, bestselling author whose books range from mystery/thrillers to contemporary erotic romance. His website is www.timsmithauthor.com.


jean hart stewart said...

This is hysterical, Ti. Thanks for starting my day with a laugh.

Tim Smith said...

You're quiet welcome, Jean. Glad I could spread a little sunshine.

Harlie Williams said...

I needed that laught today!