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Monday, October 24, 2016

13 Tips for Dating Immortal Males @kayelleallen #scifi #humor

Kayelle Allen here. Since so many of my characters are immortals, and they talk to me almost non-stop, I have a unique insight into their lives. Particularly their dating habits. I thought I'd share some with you.
When you date an immortal male, it's not like dating a regular guy. This goes for all types of immortals, including fey folk, vampires, the undead, certain time travelers, Viking demi-gods, various types of aliens, and genetically enhanced warriors such as the Sempervians.* Often, immortals have lived hundreds if not thousands of years, so here are several things to keep in mind. 
  1. Immortals value time, but not in the way that you do. Depending on the era in which he was born (among other things), he may never pick you up on time, or may never be late. Whichever way it goes, accept it as the way he is and try to deal with it. Which brings us to point two...
  2. If the guy you're dating is a Sempervian, don't expect him to change overnight. They were genetically created to be "set in their ways". Habits of a year or two are hard to break; imagine changing habits ingrained at birth and then developed over millennia.
  3. Accustom yourself to being told what to do. It's nothing personal. While immortals are likely to believe you know what you're doing -- they tend to see everyone as babes next to them.
  4. It's okay to offer advice, but be prepared to be ignored at first. Especially if the guy you're dating is unaccustomed to the current era. For example, if he's a recently risen undead or vampire who's been entombed for centuries. The modern time period has different rules from the one in which they were last... well, living.
  5. Expect to be showered with gifts. Many immortals have accumulated wealth over the centuries and may think nothing of spending a few thousand on a trinket for the one they love. Immortals do not give zircons - they prefer diamonds.
  6. Be aware that if your immortal is a shapeshifter, such as some classes of Sempervian, you might need to dress in layers. Why? If you date a guy who can shift into dragon form and expects you to hop on his back and hang on while he flies you to another location,   it helps to pack a sweater.
  7. On the subject of clothing, consider not wearing T-shirts with certain slogans or icons. For example, if you're dating an immortal from mythology, donning the latest Avenger T-shirt with Thor's hammer on the front might not get rave reviews. Not all the gods and demi-gods saw him as a hero, you know. ;)
  8. On that subject, Iron Man T-shirts might appeal to a lot of guys, but if you're dating an immortal bad boy who fought against him in an alternate universe, it might be problematic to explain.
  9. If your immortal shapeshifter is a fire-breather such as a dragon, fire god, certain aliens, or a victim of cosmic radiation [Human Torch anyone?], watch certain phrases, especially ones such as "light my fire" or a passionate "I'm hot, babe." Some shapeshifters tend to be literal-minded when it comes to their abilities.
  10. Special note for dating immortal weres: if they have an alternate shape than entails fur, carry a lint brush and avoid complaints about "shedding." 'Nuff said.
  11. For undead relationships (especially zombies), it might be wise to wear a corsage made with fresh flowers. Fragrant flowers, if you get my drift...
  12. It's okay to give your immortal gifts. Weres might like a nice brush for their coat (especially if you spend time using it on them - they love being touched in a sensual way), and the rumor that dragons love shiny things is true, but be careful about giving flowers to certain types of immortals (see #11). Vampires might equate flowers with gravesites, and some weres might think you're offering them a snack.
  13. Be prepared to have sex. Immortals love sensuality and sexually attuned partners. Okay, come to think about it, this point works while dating mortals too! 


*Sempervians: genetically enhanced warriors from Earth's twenty-sixth century, found in books by Kayelle Allen.

Any tips you can offer for dating immortals? Especially if you've read (or written) a book about one! I'd love to hear your ideas.
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Kayelle Allen is a best-selling American author. Her unstoppable heroes and heroines include contemporary every day folk, role-playing immortal gamers, futuristic covert agents, and warriors who purr.
Homeworld/Blog https://kayelleallen.com
Twitter https://twitter.com/kayelleallen
Facebook https://facebook.com/kayelleallen.author
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2 comments:

Kayelle Allen said...

Thanks for having me today. :)

Tina Donahue said...

Welcome, Kayelle - great post! :)