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Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Late Nights with Jordan

Yes, I had to make the title that.

Why? Well because my brain chemistry hates me, and that’s when I’ve been up. Over night, unable to do much other than stare at blank word docs and plead with my grey matter to give me SOMETHING!

I had hoped to have my Amazon and B&N links for Destiny by now, but unfortunately I think it’ll be another week or two before it hits those sites.

Doesn’t mean that I don’t have some fun stuff for you tonight!
For starters, I now have a group for a street team up and semi running. Not a whole lot going on at the moment but soon. Exclusive cut scenes from books will be posted – one already is – and great giveaways will be started sometime next month. Can drop me a line on Facebook if you’d like to be part of it.

I also will be going live on Facebook on Tuesdays around noon EST to give updates and basically give a little insight on me as a person J

Finally! I’m going to give y’all an excerpt from Destiny that didn’t make the cut for pacing reasons. I mentioned it in my live session yesterday, so I figured, why not?

n  Note, no editor has seen this, so it’s incredibly rough, and is still in first person POV from Bridgid’s perspective.

Eighty-six full moons, that's how many I had missed over the years.  No longer would I chain myself to the darkness, no matter how much my heart ached to think of Vincent somewhere in the world hurting, I had to do this, for my own clarity. Benjamin stood behind me in the doorway of the altar room as I spread the white cloth over the low table. It was strange the night before I just stood up from the bath, and begged him to make love to me.  Yet, kneeling before the altar as I straightened the cloth, and turned to another trunk of supplies I pulled out a long white robe to cover myself with. 
In the bathroom, I had already prepared a Vanilla and Lily bath, Benjamin once again was right outside the door as I soaked, letting the scents sink into my skin for a half hour before I exited.  My hair was pulled up in a bun on the back of my head to keep it out of the water. After I dried myself I slipped my arms into the long bell sleeves, fastened the front of the robe from the middle of my sternum down to mid-thigh. I pulled the pins out of the bun, letting my hair fall down, draped over the hood that rested against my back.  I felt centered, focused, and it was a long time in coming. 
Kneeling before the altar again I lit a fat white candle, allowing wax to pool as I gathered the rest of my supplies. When enough was melted, I poured it into the bottom of a basin then stuck the candle on top of it. I let it cool before pouring some of the bathwater I'd saved into it, three fourths full. I placed my round mirror in the center of the altar, just below the basin with the lit candle, then shared the flame from it in two smaller silver candles, placing it on the right and left of the altar.
I took a deep breath, then recited from memory the invocation to call the Goddess and protect me in my circle. 
“Celestial Winds, come dance and sing;
With you, airs of inspiration bring.
Full and rich to my heart,
all your wisdom pray impart.
“Cosmic Fires, come dance and sing;
With you, sparks of cleansing bring.
Full and rich to my heart,
all your strength pray impart.   
“Astral Waters, come dance and sing;
With you, waves of insight bring.
Full and rich to my heart,
all your creativity pray impart.
“Stellar Earth, come dance and sing;
With you, soils of flowering bring.
Full and rich to my heart,
all your rooting pray impart.
“Shining Spirit, come dance and sing,
With you, the magic of harmony bring.
Full and rich to my heart,
all your power pray impart.”
I spoke the words clearly, each in turn, and in order, East, South, West, North, and my center. I centered myself completely, drawing inward trying to ignore my heart's pull to Benjamin behind me, as I calmed my breathing.  Only a few breaths every minute, very slow as if I were sleeping. I turned my face to the ceiling, imagining that I could pull the moon's light down onto me. That I could pull it inside of me, feel its warmth spread through me, it's welcoming arms enveloping my body as if it were an old friend welcoming me back home.
I then reached for the long matches, lighting it on the flame of the center candle. Then I held the flame above me speaking,
“As she shines fully in the sky,
the Lady shines in my heart, and in my home.”
I then lit a dark earth colored candle, one I had chosen to be my focus for the ritual. It represented Vincent. 
“Mother Moon, welcome. 
Mother Moon come!
Your tides of power bring fulfillment,
and your beams bear the realization of change.” 
I then straightened and looked into the basin seeing the flame reflected there. 
“Tides that sway, and tides that flow.
As above, and so below. 
The moon once small, now fully seen,
in this basin, my future bring.”
The incantation brought magic forward in me, magic I had almost forgotten I truly possessed inside of me. The magic of my craft, as well as the magic of my being a witch.  The water in the bowl shifted back and forth; first clock wise, then counter, then seemed to boil as it rose on the outside and dipped on the inside. Turmoil. Then wax fell from the top of the candle in the center, it swirled against the water, forming shapes I would need to remember then interpret later on when I consulted my books.  A broom, A wheel, a bell, a triangle, and a cross.
I sat back on my heels meditating on the five shapes, trying to recall what each could mean.  A broom meant to sweep in change but there already was a change in my life.  Perhaps it meant that more change would be coming, unfortunately it never showed whether it would be good or ill. A wheel meant someone would be traveling, coming home, soon.  Vincent. It had to be Vincent coming home, but once again, just when was not discernible. A bell meant wedding, or a joining of lives. There would be no way both of my men would agree to “share” me. It would be one or the other from Vincent especially.  A triangle, strength, or it could be thought to be a mountain, which would mean that close friends would be there to lean on, to help me with my difficult time.  Well I had plenty of those, including my courageous sister.  And the cross, it meant protection.  Benjamin.  Benjamin was my protector, he'd shown that when he saved my life, and then swore to kill Vincent if he tried even a swipe again. It did not show me anything that would settle my mind, and truthfully I was rather surprised that I could clearly remember my interpretations.  I hadn't practiced them since high school.
I finally readied myself for the closing of my circle, and the closing of the ritual. First to the North, “Stellar Earth, your blossoms close,
but in my heart their fragrance grows.”
To the West; “Astral waters, your waves subside,
into my heart there to reside.” 
To the South; “Cosmic fires your sparks wane,
but in my heart they live again.”
To the East; “Celestial winds, your airs fade,
but carry the magic that I bade.”
Then I returned my gaze to the center candle.
“Shining spirit, your song still sings,
and with it now the magic brings.”
I sat for a moment longer before I rose to my feet once more, letting the candles stay lit, they would extinguish on their own as they were meant to. I smiled back to Benjamin. “Enjoy the show?”
He smiled that wonderful smile at me.  “Hardly a show, but I enjoyed watching you.”
“Don't treat me too good, you may spoil me.” I said softly, smiling back at him and blushing softly. How the hell could he make me blush so easily?
“What if I want to spoil you?” He asked, grinning.
I leaned up and pressed my lips to his cool cheek, “Don't do it too much, then.”
He smiled again, it was something I loved seeing.  Being with Ben in the last day was incredible, he was so silent, yet his presence undeniable.  He sat, and watched me eat lunch, and watched me cook the meal I was about to descend the stairs to enjoy.  He wrinkled his nose a little as he smelled the cod frying, which brought me to giggles, giggles which I hadn't let out in ages. He made me feel so free.  It was a freedom that Vincent wasn't able to give me, and yet what Vince gave me was the stability of a man that loved me because I dealt with his problems without blinking an eye. He loved me because I loved him. Benjamin loved me, (even though we hadn't spoken the words but I knew he did) as I loved him, unquestioningly, unconditionally.  He loved me for who I was, moon and all.
He sat beside me, watching me eat my meal of cod and a baked potato, smiling softly as I downed three glasses of milk. 
I fell asleep that night, nude in Benjamin's arms I knew he wouldn't sleep, but I needed the comfort of his arms around me. My mind stayed on Vincent. I was so worried about him, and I didn't know if he'd attacked himself out of shame, as he claimed to do so often in his school days before he's learned the control he had possessed until the last two weeks. I was worried about my sister, she hadn't contacted me since she'd left the afternoon before, and I was beginning to worry.  I hoped Deanna was safe, and prayed for her to contact me as soon as she possibly could. 



Also, Dirty Doms is still available, and is still bringing in rave reviews! Price is up to 2.99 instead of the 99 cents it was over the initial release, but well worth the read - and I'm not just saying that for myself. The other 9 ladies have some INCREDIBLE stories within the anthology as well. 





1 comment:

Tina Donahue said...

Enjoyed your excerpt, Jordan. :)