Friday, June 3, 2016

Some sense and lots of nonsense......

I'm having trouble settling down to write this column.  No, it's not entirely spring fever, although some of it is. I'm wrapped up in writing my new book called My Elusive Earl, and all I want to do is finish it.
Actually  I'm in the double and triple checking stage, so I"ll be getting it off to my editor at MuseItUp soon. I'm thrilled with this one, hope you like it too when it appears.

Now for the nonsense part of this admittedly spring-fevered blog. If you don't like puns, you'd better quit reading.....

1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two tired.  (Really bad, but I'm in that kind of a mood.)

2. Times flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

3. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

4. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

5. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

6. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

7. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

8. Local Area Network in Australia --- the LAN down under.

9. Every calendar's days are numbered.

10. A lot of money is tainted. Taint yours and taint mine.

11.Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

12. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

I'd love to know which one is your favorite.....Just comment and tell me and we'll compare notes.

You can find me at my website wwwjeanhartstewart.com and my books at Amazon, Kobo, Barnes and Noble, and of course MuseItUp. I'd love to hear from you.....


Tina Donahue said...

They're all great, Jean. This is my fave: Times flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Where do you find these?

jean hart stewart said...

Thanks Tina, but I can't give you a good answer. I've got a blog folder I stick stuff in from time to time and this was in it. I'm sure you'll see more like this....I get tired of serious blogs.

Fiona McGier said...

I like #12--cause most money "taint yours or mine." Truth hurts!

I love puns. It's been said that a pun is the lowest form of wit, but I follow that with, "It is, if you didn't think of it. If you did, you'll be chuckling at your own wit for days."

My brother once went to a Mensa Halloween costume party where the theme was "literary characters." He made a copy of his credit card bill, enlarged it, and wrapped himself up in it. What was he? The "In-VISA-bill Man." Let the groaning commence!