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Friday, February 5, 2016

Isn't It Romantic?

Valentine’s Day is upon us once again. It’s the time of year that florists and the people who make Godiva chocolates dream about. Aside from Christmas this is probably make-or-break season for the folks at Hallmark, too.

Cupid’s Big Day falls on a Sunday this year and it coincides with President’s Day, which is a holiday for many people. What could be more fitting than a romantic weekend getaway with your special someone (in some cases, your spouse)? Hotels, spas and restaurants are hoping to cash in by offering package deals. Of course, if you haven’t booked something by now, good luck.

Casinos have sprung up throughout Ohio since we legalized gambling a few years ago. One of them is offering a deal that includes a hotel room, dinner in one of the restaurants, and some tokens to tempt you into the game room. This set-up makes sense if you think about it. You can lose your shirt and your kids college fund at the crap tables, hit the restaurant bar to drown your sorrows, then crash in your room to sleep it off afterward. What a perfect romantic weekend!

I saw an ad for a major retail chain offering Valentine’s gift suggestions. Some of them made sense (jewelry, perfume, etc.) but I was perplexed when they touted kitchen appliances as “the perfect gift for that special woman.” I can see how that would play out. “Honey, I didn’t get you flowers or candy, but look at this terrific Panini maker I found on sale!” I’d probably end up wearing it.

Fast food restaurants have even gotten on board. Candlelight dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings isn’t a real stretch, but I fell out of my chair when I heard this radio ad: “White Castle is now accepting reservations for Valentine’s Day!”

Seriously? White Castle is the kind of place you hit when you have a case of the munchies after bar hopping on Saturday night and don’t really care what you’re eating. They didn’t say if Tums would be served with the meal or ala carte.

A friend told me that when he was dating his future wife, he prepared a romantic dinner at his apartment. I don’t know what he fixed, but a few hours later the poor woman went to the ER with ptomaine poisoning. Love may mean never having to say you’re sorry, but “From now on, we’re eating out!” might not hurt.

A few years ago I picked up a Valentine’s floral bouquet at the market. Before giving it to my date I removed the bar code price sticker and read the product description: “Happy VD Bouquet.” You have to admit—nothing says “I love you” like VD.

I don’t want anyone to think I’m anti-romance, so here’s the agenda my very significant other and I have planned for this special day. Neither of us cares for big crowds so we’ll have a private candlelit dinner at my house, catered by our favorite Italian restaurant. I’ll supply something appropriate from the wine cellar, properly chilled. Afterward we’ll watch a movie in front of the fireplace—her choice, of course. I’ll even spring for fresh flowers.

Happy VD, everyone!

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Tim Smith is an award-winning, bestselling author. His books range from mystery/thrillers to contemporary erotic romance. His website is www.timsmithauthor.com.


1 comment:

Fiona McGier said...

Hey Tim, sounds like you and your S.O. will be enjoying the holiday in style.

From what I've read about the White Castle dealie, they take reservations, then when you get there, there is a white tablecloth on your table, along with a flower in a vase. A server comes to your table to take your order, and delivers it to you when it's done. For years, I've told the teenagers I sub for that when "your heart is full of love, but your wallet not so much, White Castle is ready for you! Just be sure your sweetie likes 'meat cookies' before you make those reservations." And recently they added vegetarian "burgers", so even the non-meat-eating among us can get equal opportunity heartburn!