However, it doesn't necessarily mean you stop *fantasizing* about sex with others, or sex with your spouse in a way that it's unlikely they would go along with.
There isn't anything wrong with sexual fantasies, even ones that might seem dark and even disturbing. They're FANTASIES, not reality. I know people who, during masturbation or even sex with a partner, fantasize about things they would never dream of doing in real life. But fantasies can heat up sex with your partner, and sometimes talking about those fantasies can lead to some extra spice.
In my novella Knot Intended, which is a rewrite and expansion of my short story A Little Tied Up (Noble Romance, March 2010; out of print since August 2013), Nolie and Joseph are happily married, but their careers have taken priority over their sex life. When Joseph suggests sexual roleplaying to bring back some of the fire to their marriage, Nolie thinks he's crazy...and when he asks what her deepest fantasy is, she's afraid to tell him. At first.
But when Nolie finally confesses her fantasy, being "kidnapped" and made to do whatever her "captor" commands, it excites Joseph. And several days later, when Joseph brings that fantasy to life, it does more for their marriage than either of them would have expected.
Knot Intended will be released from Loose Id on November 18. Here's a short excerpt:
Joseph let go of her and returned to the chair. “Get over here, bitch.”
Nolie rose and slowly walked across the room. The second she reached him, Joseph grabbed the hem of her shirt and shoved it up. Nolie barely managed to stop herself from taking his hands to stop him. “Be careful,” she said. “You’ll rip it.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Giving me orders, bitch? You think I give a shit if I rip your precious fucking little shirt?” He held his hand up. “Do you want another smack, or should I just bring you to the window?”
“No.” The word spilled from Nolie’s mouth before she could stop herself. She wasn’t ready to tell Joseph enough was enough, but no matter how intrigued she was by the idea of showing herself to strangers, she couldn’t take the risk. “Don’t let anyone else see me. Please. I’m sorry.”
Immediately he let go of her shirt and stepped back, concern again clear in his gaze. “That threat bothers you, huh?”
He wasn’t breaking character. His question was spoken in the same rough tone he’d used since Nolie had found him in the kitchen. But the look in his eyes told her he feared he’d taken things too far.
Despite her own fear, she hastened to reassure him that she wasn’t ready to end the show quite yet. “I’m a teacher. If anyone saw me the way you talked about, it could affect my job. I’m sorry it’s so hard for me to stay quiet. I keep forgetting, but I don’t need punishment to remind me.” She paused as an idea came to her. “Besides, if anyone saw me, someone might rescue me before you’re done. You want to play with your toy as long as possible, don’t you? Maybe if you put something in my mouth, I’d be able to stay quiet. Not a gag, though. Something else.”
“Fucking slut. You want to suck my cock.” His gaze hardened, and Nolie knew she’d persuaded him to continue their game. “Are you some kind of freak, getting turned on by this?”
She pressed her lips together to hold back a triumphant smile. “That’s up to you to decide.”
“Just keep your fucking mouth shut. Don’t make me warn you again.” He took hold of her shirt again. “This shirt’s kind of pretty. I guess I can see why you don’t want me to ruin it. Take it off. Bra too.”
Nolie waited for him to let go of her, not daring to point out to him that she couldn’t remove the shirt with him holding it. After a moment, he narrowed his eyes and stepped back. “Hurry the fuck up.”
Turning away from Joseph, Nolie quickly obeyed. She set her bra and shirt on the bed and looked at her husband again.