Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Thoughts on Facebook and what's acceptable

My thoughts on what I’ve read or seen on Facebook. I’m not much of a Twitter person. In fact I’m impaired in that area so I’ll talk about what I’ve seen and heard on Facebook.

So I’m scrolling through my news feed on FB and I see that an author has been booted out of her home room mother status because she writes erotic books. She is not ashamed of what she does and I agree that it shouldn’t matter. But there is a slippery slope when it comes to writing and in some cases reviewing, too. I know another author that has had to put up with some nastiness in her town because of what she writes and that she lives the lifestyle.

I’ve come up with some thoughts in random order about that slippery slope.

1. Pen name or not? I use a pen name even though most of my FB know what my real name is. My family and residents of the town I live in do not. So why do I keep my pen name a secret from them? Simple…I live in a very conservative area of Texas and trust me, I’m proud of what I do but I have also taken into consideration my son and my husband. They don’t need the backlash (play dates, friends, business that my husband would lose).

2. Does it sound wrong? Should I shout it from the mountain tops? If I lived in a bigger town it wouldn’t matter but it does here. It’s not that appearance is the goal but in some ways it does. Would my husband be a baseball coach in our town? Would I have been accepted as a new person in our town? (Trust me, in our old town I never was and we lived there for 6 years. And no, they never knew what I did.) Would Brian have had the easy transition from the only life he knew to what he knows now? No he wouldn’t.

3. Some things should be kept private in my opinion. What goes on your bedroom is one of them. I’m no prude but I don’t go peaking between your sheets, so I would respect you enough to NOT go peaking in mine. Just because FSOG is out there, doesn’t mean that everyone in the world has accepted it. Most haven’t. It’s human nature to not accept things that you don’t know about but last judgement doesn’t come from other people.

4. Remember that anyone and everyone reads Facebook. Nothing is sacred anymore. Big Brother is everywhere. Hence why I started using Facebook under my pen name. In laws were just a bit too nosy and somewhat judgmental. Yes, I have issues.

5. People have lost their jobs over Facebook postings. They’ve been outed. Again, keep this in mind when you want to talk about things.

6. Do I sound like a hypocrite? I hope not but I’ve decided to keep some things in my life private. My parents know the type of books that I review. They know that some of them are “naughty” but hey, my first naughty book my mom gave me to read. Lucky by Sandra Brown and I’ve never looked back. LOL! My dad got me hooked on James Patterson and Tom Clancy. Again, my family knows but most people in my town don’t. Well…a couple of peeps do and they love it. ;)

What I’m trying to say is, THINK before you speak. Should it have mattered what the author did and been booted from home room mother duties? No and to make it worse, she had been the home room mother since her son was in preschool. I think it was at least 6 years. But just because of what she is doing now, she’s not good enough? I cry foul on that. Should the other author have to explain or not explain her lifestyle and then deal with the backlash that her son will eventually have over it? No she shouldn’t. 

But again…some things should be kept private and she didn’t keep some things that way. As you can tell, I’m a conservative but I also feel that people should accept everyone for who and what they are. No one is perfect and no one will ever be. I don’t lay in judgment over what someone does. I wasn’t raised that way. I was raised to love everyone regardless of sex, race, religion, creed. Plus, living in the US we have the right to do what ever we want, say what we want and more importantly not be persecuted for it. But too many people have decided to be judge and jury and I find that horrible.

Who died and made you God?


Susana Ellis said...

Teachers have lost their jobs because the powers-that-be didn't approve of what they did on their own time. I just saw a news report that a couple of teachers were suspended (and will probably be fired) because they produced a horror video with some nudity in it. And commenters were adamant that they wouldn't allow THEIR kids to be taught by these horrible people!

I write/wrote sweet Regencies for Ellora's Cave's Cotillion line, and my own sister won't read them because the website "attacked" her. It doesn't matter that my stories are harmless. As a former teacher, I realize I could have been fired for that if the community had discovered it. No matter that it's all legal. No matter that I had tenure. People with tenure are fired all the time, regardless of what you've heard.

I LOVE being retired! Nobody can fire me! I don't even care anymore if people disapprove of my writing or my publisher. Yes, I still have a pen name. I like it better than my real name. But it doesn't really matter if I get "outed."

But I do feel for my friends who are teachers whose private lives could cause them to lose their jobs, and in some cases, their teaching licenses. And when I read stories with characters who are teachers going to sex clubs, I'm like—you've GOT to be kidding!

Judgment and persecution are alive and well. And I think most people are good with that.

Tina Donahue said...

There will always be self-righteous jerks who just love to tell someone else how corrupted/wrong/evil they are. To those jerks, I say "F you." What I do is none of their business unless they're living with me/in love with me/paying my bills. If not, butt out.

If you don't like erotic romance, don't read it. Football offends me. That doesn't mean I'm going to get it banned for being violent and causing brain damage. Live and let live.

Harlie Williams said...

@Susanna I hear you. Its really, really sad.

@Tina You don't like football? Personally, I don't care for basketball. But do I want it banned because of the thugs that play it? No. Just not my thing.

I just wish that people would leave people alone.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.


Fiona McGier said...

Ah Harlie, as always, you're a breath of fresh air. You are always so sensible and forth-right about issues.

Yes, in a perfect world, what you choose to do would have no effect on your "bread-money" job. But in reality, even though we have the freedom to live as we choose in America, there are an awful lot of people with too much time on their hands, and the desire to make sure that everyone else lives like THEY DO, since it's so obviously THE ONLY RIGHT WAY. Sigh. Kind of like our own personal version of the Taliban.

People should just mine their own business. Isn't it written in their holy book, something about not throwing stones unless you've never sinned? Selective reading and enforcing of that good book is such a drag!