Sunday, April 28, 2013

Flying in the Face of Fear

People who know me will snort milk through their nose when they read this but I am, at the core of it, a shy and timorous creature. 

Oh, I’m not shy about everything. If you've read any of my books you’ll know what I’m talking about.

But the bald fact of the matter is, I am afraid to put myself out there (shudders at the thought), I’m shy around people I don’t know (shivers in dread), and I am positively paralyzed with fear when it comes to trying new things.

Cold sweats, hummingbird heartbeat, random barfing—the whole deal.

I am scared to death of trying new things…which is why I do them.


Do them.

The more it scares me, the more I push myself to leap into the fray. Fear is a beast that stalks me through the dark shadows of the night. The only way to battle it is to lure it into the light.

If I've learned anything during this long, crazy journey, it is that no matter what—no matter how wild the crashing tide, no matter the nay sayers, no matter the dread and gloom hovering over an enterprise—the only way to prevail is to push on through.

Sometimes, when we push on through like the brave soldiers we are, well, sometime we do not prevail. 
Sometimes our efforts fall short of stellar. Sometimes we don’t even meet our own diminished expectations.

But here is a bald fact. Every time we give up, we fail. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

So what choice do we have really?
  • Give up and fail for sure?
  • Or soldier through, and maybe prevail?
I choose maybe prevail.

And it is a CHOICE. So when I look back on the occasional less-than-stellar results, I can smile and say, “Yeah. I made that choice. It was a good lesson for me. Not perfect, but a hell of a lot better than quitting.”

If you are still too mired in doubt to break free, do what I do. Pretend. Act. Convince yourself you are the best-damn-whateverer the world has ever seen.

Fake it til you make it. And just do it.

And here’s a funny thing I discovered. The first time you do a scary thing, oh yeah. It’s pretty frickin scary.

The second time, meh, not so much.

So, even though I am timorous and shy and, in general, flown with fear, I try to do something that scares me every single day.

Some days I regret it.

Most days I feel like I managed to beat back the beast.

Occasionally, I even laugh in the face of fear, cackling with wild glee, “You have no hold over me, you nefarious villain!” like the plucky heroine from a Snidely Whiplash cartoon.

But there’s only one way to get there, to get past the fear.

You have to walk through the fire.

Your Challenge:

So tell me. What scares you? Really scares you? And how will you conquer it? Comment below for a chance to win a copy of any of my ebooks. (You pick the book. You pick the format).

My Challenge:

Okay. So what is scaring me right now?

I am going to RT next week.

There will be THOUSANDS of people there. Thousands. Of. People. Milling around. Talking. Breathing
Looking at me.

Crowds give me the heebie jeebies. Pictures on the RT website of the GIANT BOOK FAIR make my knees knock. Maybe, I think, hope, they will put me in a corner where no one will notice me or talk to me.

But hell. That’s NOT why I am going (and NOBODY puts Baby in the corner!).

I am going to meet people. Lots of people. New people. I am going to connect with readers and authors and industry professionals. I can’t do that hovering in a corner.

Most people, I find—when you take them one at a time—are pretty fricking awesome.

So I am going to focus on that one person. That one reader. That one shining smile.

I am going to slap on my brave face and pretend I am completely at ease. AND I AM GOING TO HAVE FUN. I am going to put myself out there.

Even though it scares me to death.

If you are going to RT, please find me and say Hi. I will be so delighted to see a friendly face, I will give you a Hot Dot for your trouble. And maybe a bling pen. I am also giving away my teaser book—which has excerpts from some of my work. I’ll even sign it for you.

If you’re not going to RT, I have another challenge for you.

In April I self published my first title (yes, self publishing, very scary). I was delighted to see it hit an Amazon bestseller list for free erotica on my Anniversary. So delighted, I am offering it for free again, in case anyone missed it. You can download Rebound for free from Amazon on May 4th and 5th. Please do. Watching my rankings will distract me from the absolute terror of having to walk across the stage at the Ellora’s Cave Disco Party. In costume. In front of thousands of people.

And cover models. (MALE COVER MODELS!)


I am bathed in sweat.

Deep breath, Sabrina.

You can do it.

And you won’t trip.

As Jon Lovitz would say, with a flourish of his hand: “Acting!”

Rebound is Book One of the Tryst Island Series—following the romantic adventures of a group of friends sharing a vacation house on the fictional Trystacomseh Island in Washington State’s San Juan archipelago.

Here’s a taste of Rebound. It’s scheduled to be available for free on May 4th and 5th on Amazon. I hope you check it out. http://www.amazon.com/Rebound-Tryst-Island-Series-ebook/dp/B00C44H0OE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1367117621&sr=8-1&keywords=rebound+by+sabrina+york

Rebound by Sabrina York
A Tryst Island Erotic Romance

Kristi Cross has had the hots for her friend, Cameron Jackson as long as she can remember, but she knows she’s not his type. She’s nothing like the women he dates. So when he suggests they play for a kiss over a game of Hearts, Kristi can’t resist. Even if she loses, she wins. Because she’s finally going to taste him.
 Of course, one kiss can quickly become something altogether steamier, especially when both parties are on the rebound…

An Excerpt of Rebound

Cam nodded and dealt the cards. They were halfway through the first hand when he broke the silence.

“Do you remember the first time we played?”

“You had to teach me.”

“Took me all night.”

“That was hardly my fault.” She rearranged her cards. “You kept pouring me shots.”

“You’re the one who kept drinking them.”

She feigned a pout. “I had to keep up with Jamie.”

“Now, she was easy to beat.”

“So was I, once you got me liquored up.”

His chortle rumbled through her. “You figured out my strategy.” He shot her a saucy leer. “You sure you don’t want another beer?”

“No way. I’m winning this game, buster.”

They played for a while longer before he spoke again. This time, his words sent a scalding sizzle through her solar plexus. “You know Kristi, I can’t remember a time when we were both…single.”

Her heart seized. “What?” Thank God she hadn't just taken a sip of beer—she would have spewed it across the table for sure.

“Think about it. Since the day we met, one of us was always in a relationship.”

Usually him.

She didn't respond. She didn't know what to say.

He winced as he took a trick. “I just think it’s interesting. That’s all.”

“What’s… interesting?” It took everything in her not to mangle her cards.

“You know. That we’re both available. Both here. Alone.”

Under the weight of his steamy gaze, all uncertainty wafted away. That was definitely interest simmering in those steely blue orbs.

Kristi’s pulse went into rapid-fire mode. Her breath hitched. Heat lashed through her.

“I…ah… W-what’s your p-point?” She tried to act all blas√©, but the stuttering probably ruined it.

His expression shifted, darkened. The smoldering, seductive mien made her belly flutter. “I was thinking we could play…for something.”


“A kiss, maybe?”

Brain freeze.

Every thought fled. Every cogent inkling spun out of reach. She could only feel. Stare at him in shock. Ache for him.  

His tongue came out, dabbing at his lips. She fixated on it, imagining that tongue, what it could do. The havoc it could cause on various parts of her trembling body—

“A kiss?” A squeak. “We’ve never k-kissed before.”

He leaned closer. His voice dropped an octave. “I’m aware of that.”

About Sabrina York
Sabrina is an award winning author of erotic romance with nearly a dozen titles available, ranging from sweet & sexy erotic romance to BDSM to erotic horror. Connect with her on twitter @sabrina_york or Facebook.

Books by Sabrina York
Lust Eternal (Erotic Fantasy, Ellora’s Cave) —coming soon
Making Over Maris (Erotic Contemporary, Ellora’s Cave) —coming soon


Tina Donahue said...

I could have written your blog, Sabrina. Yes, I am too VERY shy (hard to believe, I know). You'll do great at RT. It's my guess most of the other authors are are scared as you are. :) Have fun!

jean hart stewart said...

I'm beginning to think most people are shy underneath all the different surfaces. I know I am, and I don't think many people suspect. Interesting thought> Are we all putting on an act?

Fiona McGier said...

Yes, Jean. We are. But some of us figure out that if you talk really fast and keep it up, you'll put the other person at ease. So they will radiate warm feelings at you for helping them feel less shy. Bingo, problem solved!

Sabrina York said...

LOL I think you are all right. We are all quivering in our boots.

There's nothing wrong with being afraid, I suppose. (Fear kept us alive as a species at one time). But letting it define our life can be a tragedy.

That's what I'm fightin!!!

Eek. Wish me luck!!!! (Nibbles fingernails)

Kelli Scott said...

OMG! I'm terrified of...everything. Big fear...book signings. Speaking in public. Pitching to agents and editors. Networking (booze helps and also hurts). I've only ever been to one convention and am in no hurry to go again. I should adopt your "do something scary everyday" mantra.