Monday, August 20, 2012

Have you met-a-phor that doesn't make sense?

Metaphors---we all use them in speech in and in writing so I thought I'd have some fun with some common metaphors that if you really think about it, don't make a heck of a lot of sense.

Walking on eggshells, which is a metaphor for talking to someone who has a bad temper in which the slightest sound or disturbance may send them off into the Kingdom of Royal Pissdom.

Take a bunch of egg shells and spread them all over the floor, then try walking on them. You can't. Whatever you do, you're going to make noise, crack the shells, make a mess and your efforts to not disturb the raging maniac you're in the room with becomes obselete. Not to mention, if said pissed off person hates a mess around them or the crackling noise, they may go all Terminator on you (ah, just used a metaphor for an angry person, but this I can visualize...an unreasonable anger-management candidate getting all Terminator like).

The elephant in the room is a metaphor for people to ignore a serious issue that exists and they don't want to talk about. I don't know about you, but if there were an elephant in the room, I'd get the hell out of there. Seriously, how can one ignore it? Unless you're real handy with a gargantuan pooper scooper, and even then, I wouldn't want to be standing behind one.   

Nose to grindstone is a metaphor for work hard. Now tell me, how easy is it to work with your face pressed against a grindstone? Not to mention it would be severely painful. Of course if your goal is to get a cheap new nose job...

Rolling in dough references someone who has a lot of money. First of all, if someone is a bazillionaire, they'd probably have a full staff to roll around in dough, mud or a vat of Jello. Secondly, making dough is simple and cheap to do...flour, water, eggs and yeast.

Eats like a bird is used to describe someone who doesn't eat much. Birds need a ton of energy to fly and look for food, prey on smaller birds and they take up residence at bird feeders without paying rent. They eat a LOT and often. Besides, I don't know many people who perform face plants in their dinner plates.

Foot of the mountain. That would entail some kind of pedicure, wouldn't it? Mountains are massive and I don't think a foot could hold  a mountain up easily, perhaps one can say, foot of the mohill?

Clean as a whistle. As long as nobody has already blown into a whistle, because if they did, I certainly wouldn't want to be metaphored  as my house having saliva all over it.

Have you ever met-a-phor that gives you a visual and makes you think..."Huh?"

Genre-defying, witty, humorous, suspenseful, romantic and sexy— words used to describe Selena’s novels. A self-professed foodie and chocolate guru, Selena loves to dance with her dog, sing into her hairbrush and write in her PJ's. In love with her family, friends, books, laughter, hockey, lively discussions and red wine (sometimes all at the same time). Selena is a dragon slayer who enjoys reading and writing sassy heroines and hot heroes (the ones your mamma warned you about, but secretly wished she’d dated a few in her life).


Tina Donahue said...

Great post, Selena. I especially like the 'nose to the grindstone' picture you painted. :)

Selena Robins said...

Thanks, Tina. Glad you enjoyed the blog and visual I painted. :)

Tim Smith said...

Very clever, Selena. I'd like to add "a butt-load of money," implying wealth. Sounds uncomfortable as hell to me.

Selena Robins said...

LOL Tim. Good one! Glad you enjoyed the post.