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Thursday, July 5, 2012

Ten Best Things About Being a Romance Writer


1 – It gives you an excuse to try out those positions before you write them.

2 – The lifetime supply of ink pens you can pick up at book festivals and RomCons.

3 – You can surf adult websites and tell your sig other “Honest, honey, it was just research!”

4 – The look on your friend’s faces when they realize they’ve read one of your hot stories but didn’t know you wrote it.

5 – You can tell people “I write erotic romance. What have you done for mankind?”

6 - The joy of discovering different words for various body parts.

7 – Reading someone else’s love scenes then saying “I didn’t think that was humanly possible.”

8 – Signing books with the inscription “Does your mother know what you’re reading?”

9 – Embarrassing your relatives at your nephew’s wedding by introducing yourself as “Uncle Pervert, the dirty book writer.”

And the best thing about being a romance writer…

10 – Having the opportunity to associate with the great bunch of people on this site. I love you all.

And here are some things you can talk about with your friends tomorrow.

NYC Mayor wants to ban super-sized soft drinks – A bottle of Thunderbird in a brown paper bag is still okay.

Family Feud host Richard Dawson dies – Awkwardly kisses St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

Disney announces ban on junk food ads – Also pulls “A Spoonful of Sugar” from Mary Poppins.

Kim Kardashian splits leather dress at MTV Awards. – Two words – Jenny Craig!

Scientists predict that the Earth is in danger of tipping. – See the above item.

Mitt Romney champions “A Better Amercia” on his mobile app. – That endorsement from Dan Quayle must have rubbed off.

Florida library reverses decision on pulling 50 Shades of Grey after complaints pour in. – Who says if there’s snow on the roof there isn’t fire in the furnace?

New series Dogs in the City is a surprise hit. – Soon to be followed by Two and a Half Mutts and The Big Bone Theory.

Classic ‘80’s soap opera Dallas gets a reboot. – This time, the cliffhanger question will be “Who Spiked J. R.’s Geritol?”

CSI: New York episode has the team discovering mummified remains in an old building. – No, wait, that was just David Caruso making a cameo appearance.

Blake Lively learns how to shoot a gun. – Changes name to Blake Deadly.

Nuns Begin Nationwide Bus Tour to Protest Republican Budget – Congress utters a collective “Lord help us!”

Have a super week!

Tim Smith is an award-winning bestselling author of contemporary erotic romance. His website is http://www.timsmithauthor.com/.

7 comments:

Kathleen O said...

Great post..I espeically love the one about Kim Kardashian...LMAO..

Tina Donahue said...

LOL - awesome post, Tim - I love this one the best:

4 – The look on your friend’s faces when they realize they’ve read one of your hot stories but didn’t know you wrote it.

ROFL :)

Stormie Kent said...

Classic ‘80’s soap opera Dallas gets a reboot. – This time, the cliffhanger question will be “Who Spiked J. R.’s Geritol?”

That is hilarious.
Great Post.

Fiona McGier said...

Thanks for the chuckles, Tim! I especially like number 1 about exploring new positions for "research"...snicker.

And number 7 about things not being humanly possible, which is okay in a paranormal or sci-fi romance, but oddly weird in a contemporary! Let's just say when you look up from a sex scene to say, "EW!", it kind of loses its appeal for me! Grin.

jean hart stewart said...

wonderful post. loved no.4 the best. Thanks for a fun post...

Tim Smith said...

Thank you - I'm glad I was able to brighten everyone's day.

Personally I'm fond of no. 9 about introducing yourself as Uncle Pervert, the dirty book writer. I may try that one at my next family reunion.

Artemis said...

#7 gets my vote! Great post!