Thursday, April 19, 2012

The “F” Word – Secrets to a Happy Relationship

My top 10 tips to a Happy Relationship:

The following are not based on any scientific research. The top 10 is my opinion on what makes  marriages/relationships happy and last longer than a typical Hollywood union. 
  1. The  all important “F” word — FUN.
  2. Separate closets.
  3. Separate bathrooms.
  4. Never Stop Dating.
  5. A pair of verbal boxing gloves. Duke it out fairly, let each other know what you’re pissed off about, get over it and move on.
  6. A bad memory.
  7. Those important three little words: “Let’s go out.” 
  8. Go ahead and go to bed mad at each other. However, you both have to get naked, sit on the bed, facing each other and hold hands. See how long the argument will last then? :)
  9. Guys: put the seat down. Gals: pick your battles, toilet paper over the top, or under—it doesn’t matter.
  10. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage/relationship, so scrap that whole notion, because it doesn’t exist. Perfection is overrated anyway, however, there are perfect moments filled with laughter, love, sitting on the couch necking, splashing each other in puddles when you walk in the rain, text each other naughty messages (just don’t punch in the wrong number, it’s embarrassing, not that happened to me or anything :) )

Two of my favorite quotes: 

“If we discovered that we had only five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them.” – Christopher Morley
“We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.” – Agnes Repplier

Would love to hear your tips, opinions or favorite quotes on this subject?

Genre-defying, witty, humorous, suspenseful, romantic and sexy— words used to describe Selena’s novels. A self-professed foodie and chocolate guru, Selena loves to dance with her dog, sing into her hairbrush and write in her PJ's. In love with her family, friends, books, laughter, hockey, lively discussions and red wine (sometimes all at the same time). Selena is a dragon slayer who enjoys reading and writing sassy heroines and hot heroes (the ones your mamma warned you about, but secretly wished she’d dated a few in her life).


Renee Vincent said...

Selena, this post was a simple yet hit-the-mark kind of post. I loved your top 10, especially this one: Go ahead and go to bed mad at each other. However, you both have to get naked, sit on the bed, facing each other and hold hands. See how long the argument will last then?

I can actually say that my hubby and I do not get into many arguments that leave us angry all the way into the morning, but if we ever run into this issue, I am going to try your above suggestion.

Thanks so much for putting a smile on my face today with this blog!

Selena Robins said...

Hi, Renee,

So glad you enjoyed the post. It was fun to write. We are the same as you and your husband, but, heck, we don't need to argue to get naked, now do we? LOL

I'm pleased to put a smile on your face, makes my day to hear that.

Have a great weekend

Tina Donahue said...

Great post, Selena -

I would add to the list:

1. Loyalty - absolutely essential. And I'm not necessarily speaking about cheating. Let's say one of your family members tears into you about something (perceived or real, doesn't matter). If your significant other doesn't tell that person to knock it off - that no one has a right to speak to you that way, then that's just wrong.

2. Saying "I'm sorry" until it has no meaning. I'm sorry is used so frequently by some people who do the same thing again and again, it's more of a way to shut you up then to address the problem(s).

3. Listening to you speak about your problems rather than telling you what the solution is (in their opinion). Men do that all the time. They don't listen, they direct. Drives me nuts.

jean hart stewart said...

DH and I agreed to never go to bed angry to the point of not speaking. Always a kiss, even if not totally sincere, would loosen the heartstrings so we could talk it out...Gret post.

Fiona McGier said...

I used to make my kids do the hand-holding, though sitting at the kitchen table and definitely NOT naked! But having to look each other in the eye always made them co-conspirators against me, so they'd work out whatever they were fighting about.

My favorite m/f quote is:

Women need to feel loved to make love.
Men need to make love to feel loved.

Too many women either don't enjoy sex, or think it's "nasty". To moat men there's no such thing! So it's gotta be a "quid pro quo" thing, where you both get what you want!

Fiona McGier said...

I meant moSt men! Sorry!

Selena Robins said...

Hi, Tina,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I agree, loyalty and actions followed by sincere words.

I think men are by nature hunters and fixers and they want to solve all our problems, because they love us. We on the other hand, are natural nurturers, so some of us tend to want to nurture.

Good thing male and females are different in many ways, makes life interesting.

Selena Robins said...

Hi, Jean Hart Stewart,

Thanks for dropping by and so glad you enjoyed the post.

I think it would be too hard to sleep if I was ticked off at my husband for some reason, and he knows it as well, because he doesn't want to be shaken awake and 3:00 a.m. by me saying, "another another thing." LOL

But the naked thing works wonders. :)

Selena Robins said...

Hi, Fiona,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I LOL at your kids conspiring against you. Gives them something to bond over.

Good quote and I think most women would agree with it.

Another favorite quote for me is:

Women marry men wanting to change them.

Men marry women hoping they don't change. LOL

Tim Smith said...

Selena, this was a great post and correct on so many levels - yes, this is really a man agreeing with your list. Surprise!

I've been in a lot of relationships but the ones that were worth anything included many of the things you listed. Laughter has always been foremost, especially when you can turn the laughs on yourself.

Humility also plays a huge part. If you can't be honest and sincere enough to look your sig other in the eye and say "I was wrong" or "It was my fault," you might as well pack your bags.

Tim Smith

Selena Robins said...

Hi, Tim,

Welcome and thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed the post.

Great sense of humor, being able to laugh together is a great aphrodisiac, because as we all know after the initial butterflies and giddy stage of courting, you really have to like each other as well as love.

So true about the humility. Lots of good points and glad you gave us a male perspective.

Selena Robins said...

Thank you everyone for a great discussion on this topic. I appreciate you all stopping by, both familiar faces and new friends.

Have a wonderful weekend ahead, and have a little tiff with your loved one so you can test out the "argue naked" theory. :)

Until next month when I'll be back, take care.