Sunday, February 19, 2012

Let's hear what men have to say about Romance & Valentine's Day

February, the month for lovers, since Valentine's Day falls on February 14th. I'm dedicating some blog space to a few men from different walks of life, age bracket and marital status and asked them what their interpretation of romance was and what Valentine’s Day meant to them.
I thank each and every one of them for their enthusiastic responses and no-holds-barred, shooting-from-the-hip responses. 
Bruce, 35 years old:  Guy’s do all the heavy lifting when it comes to romance and relationship continuity in general. We have to be the funny ones, the witty ones, the date planners, the impresarios. Girls just show up. If girls want a tip – step up your game. Put into it what you want to get out of it. You expect a guy to romance you – romance him. You expect a guy to do for you, do for him. Gotta give action to get action.
 Angelo, married, 50 years old: “Valentine’s Day is a “f@!@!@” cash grab.  Ten dollar roses on the corner all year jump to fifty bucks!  It’s worse than the ice storm people who jacked up the prices of generators on people who are in their “f@!@!@” houses “f@!@!@” freezing . . .”
Angelo’s wife’s response: ”Now you know why we go out for Valentine’s Day on February 13. IF we do go out, because I can only listen to so much “I can make this f***in stuff at home for half this price . . .”
Ty Drago: “I’ve been married to my best friend and the most beautiful woman in the world for more than twenty years. Valentine’s Day is one of those days of the year when I get to tell her that. There are 364 others.”
Tom Cosentino: Although over-hyped and over-commercialized, Valentine’s Day allows men to appreciate their significant other and, consciously make an effort to recognize how special they are.  Although we should do this all the time, men do need a kick in the butt and having Feb. 14 as an annual date to remind us, reminds us to keep it  in our the mindset for more than one day.
Rick Wilcox:  This year I’m going to be away from my wife on Valentines Day and it’s just killing me. We’ve raised 4 kids and now have 7 grandchildren, and after 30 years of marriage she’s still my sweetheart. Of course, my parents were married for 62 years, so Dad would call that a good start.For me, romance is all about intimacy, and nothing is more intimate than poetry. My wife says the most romantic moment of our life was a rainy night I read poetry to her while sitting on the front porch swing, listening to a gentle summer thunderstorm. I sat on the swing and she laid next to me with her head in my lap.That was a slice of heaven.
I asked my wife and she said it was a spontaneous kiss, sitting in my pickup eating pizza and watching a sunset the first year we were married. She said it tops every 5 star place we’ve dined around the world.
Michael John Sullivan, married:  I find Valentine’s Day to be intrusive and forced upon me. On this particular day I’m expected to dazzle my lover with a shiny or sparkly gift. However, I love the idea of it to be part of the fabric of any relationship. I am a romantic. I prefer treating my honey to a wonderful candlelight dinner with Sinatra singing Summer Wind. A slow dance makes the evening more enchanting. But, since we have two teenage daughters, kiss that idea goodbye!!
Fun Guy, married, 56 years old: What I would find romantic on Valentines Day is to have your wife meet you at the door in a very sexy and revealing outfit (without kids) and have an evening planned of physical activities :) with dinner ordered in. Hot bath together, wine, cheese, grapes, sexy movie and then the rest is XXX. Valentines Day should be a day for both parties to make sure at least once a year they reconnect and spend time together to reignite the flame they had when they first met….look at each other, talk, and discuss there future needs, desires etc………doesn’t need to be expensive….just time together with no interruptions…without this. Valentines Day is just a big commercial money grab…..
Dan, single dad, 43 years old: For me, Valentine’s Day has always been a Hallmark holiday, turning husbands and boyfriends into panicked buffoons hoping either to get laid or stay on the good side of their better halves. I’ve never appreciated forced romance.  However, here’s something for you. Like I said, not sure if it’s what you want.
Romantic? I’m not a roses and dinner kind of guy. I can’t dance and hanging out at a bar with a date sure doesn’t rev my engine, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a concept of romance (at least I hope I have one…)Here’s what I find romantic-It’s a Friday night. We’ve just finished dinner and we’re settled in for the night. The phone’s unplugged and I put an old movie in theDVDplayer. She’s never seen it before and since it’s an old movie I’m a little nervous that she might not like it. After a little while I can tell she’s into it. She laughs at all the right spots, she sighs, she wipes away a tear. She leans over and when our shoulders touch, she smiles and tells me that she likes it. I’ve seen the film at least a dozen times before, but on this particular night it’s like we’re both enjoying it for the first time.
Yeah, I know it’s not the most exciting scenario, but this is as good as it gets. For me, rediscovering a great movie with someone special is a real romantic moment – simple but affecting nonetheless.
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Selena Robins Personally, I think men and women are similar on what we find romantic. Both men and women crave a connection and to know that we matter to the other person. It doesn't have to be in the form of gifts, or lavish trips and arrangements. Spending time together is the most important element in any relationship, nurturing it and showing with not only words but action that that person matters to us. This goes for any relationship, but even more so, when it's a romantic relationship, because that's when emotions usually run extremely high.
So, what do you think?
Genre-defying, witty, humorous, suspenseful, romantic and sexy— words used to describe Selena’s novels. A self-professed foodie and chocolate guru, Selena loves to dance with her dog, sing into her hairbrush and write in her PJ's. In love with her family, friends, books, laughter, hockey, lively discussions and red wine (sometimes all at the same time). Selena is a dragon slayer who enjoys reading and writing sassy heroines and hot heroes (the ones your mamma warned you about, but secretly wished she’d dated a few in her life).

Selena's recent release is with Samhain Publishing, WHAT A GIRL WANTS. A romantic comedy, intermingled with mystery, hot spicy scenes and a touch of suspense. 


Tina Donahue said...

What a great idea, Selena. I especially liked the comment that women should romance men. So true. :)

Selena Robins said...

Hi, Tina, glad you enjoyed the blog.

I think it's fun to romance our man.

Equal romance equals a fun relationship. :)

Tim Smith said...

I've been blessed to have the world's greatest sig other for the past twelve years (not married, since both of us have been there done that and like things the way they are). We try to keep the spirit going all year and she isn't impressed with Valentine's Day, but I always spring something special on her because her birthday falls two days later.

Today we got back from a long weekend trip I surprised her with, where we could celebrate both days, just the two of us. I remembered to bring the champagne and roses, too.

Selena Robins said...

That is beautiful, Tim. Good for you. It's the little things that keeps the romance light ignited. Even if it's just going for a walk, holding hands or listening to music. Spending time together (for me) is the most romantic thing one can do. Spending time together on vacation is definitely five star romance worthy.

Have a wonderful time!

Fiona McGier said...

I read a quote that said: "Women need to feel loved to make love. Men need to make love to feel loved."

Another? Mad Magazine's Dave Berg: Him: You use me--you just give me sex because you want love!

Her: You use me--you just give me love because you want sex.

Both together: So use me!

Both people in a marriage need to remember that the other person's ego is fragile and we all crave to feel loved. Treat each other as precious and reap the rewards! Let things become routine and boring, and reap what you have sowed.

We've been happily-married for 28 years and 4 kids. It takes work but is certainly worth the time!

Selena Robins said...

I agree, Fiona. I don't think it's 50/50, I think it's 100% EACH and it is worth it.

Love those quotes! thanks