Thursday, January 5, 2012

It's That Time of Year Again

Once again we’ve reached the season for making New Year’s resolutions - those promises we make to ourselves that last 2.5 weeks on average then go the way of the full service gas station. I’m not big on setting goals only once a year but for the purposes of this blog, here are some things I’d like to accomplish in 2012.

1 – I resolve not to drink any more. I also resolve not to drink any less, unless I text or e-mail someone again after having one too many. Boy, did I get slapped around the last time I did that!

2 – I resolve to quit smoking. Bear in mind that I make this same promise every six months when I visit my Doctor and he shakes his head while reviewing my lab tests.

3 – I resolve to love thy neighbor, especially if she’s cute. I also resolve not to covet her ass if she’s living with someone who could take me out with one punch.

4 – I resolve to release at least two books this year, unless Resolution Number One gets in the way.

5 – I resolve to be more sensitive to the feelings of others, unless it’s another damn telemarketer who calls when I’m in the bathroom to sell me long-term disability insurance or a membership in the Fruit of the Month Club. The same condition applies to the guy who rings my doorbell early in the morning to ask if I want my trees trimmed.

6 – I resolve to be more patient with the jerk that cuts me off in traffic because he’s so wrapped up in a cell phone conversation that he doesn’t notice I’m on the same road at the same time. To be fair, he’s probably engaged in an important call, like ordering a pizza for pick-up on the way home.

7 – I resolve to respect the common sense-challenged kid working the drive-thru at McDonald’s who takes my order then asks, “Is that for here or to go?”

8 – On a serious note, I resolve to be an attentive friend, an active listener, more understanding when I don’t agree with what’s being said, and a regular guy who remembers that I didn’t get where I am by myself.

Happy New Year, my fellow Divas!

Tim Smith is an award-winning author whose books range from contemporary erotic romance to romantic adventure. He is also a freelance photographer. More inforamtion about his work can be found at his website, www.timsmithauthor.com.


Tina Donahue said...

LOL - I love your resolutions, Tim. May you have great luck in keeping them. :)

jean hart stewart said...

Love your resolutions... I 'll go along and swear to the same ones, except the smoking since I don't smoke. And maybe the stupid kid. That's sometimes hard to take.

Fiona McGier said...

The only one I made this year is to get more hugs every day. I've read that to be emotionally-healthy we are supposed to need 17 hugs per day. My 4 kids are all over 18, and 2 are away at school most of the year, but the remaining 2 know that when I approach them with "that look" in my eye, they need to give me a hug. My husband is always good for hugs, usually with a quick fondle or grope. Men!

I don't seem to be able to do much about working 2 jobs, since we need the money...so more hugs should remind me regularly WHY I'm working so much...for the people I love!

(And Tim, you can covet your cute neighbor's ass without having to act on that...especially if she dates big guys. I've been married for 27 years, but I still look...I just don't even consider touching.)

Sarah J. McNeal said...

Your blog really caught my attention, Tim. I did laugh at some of it but humor aside, I know several of these resolutions actually hold great importance to your life--drinking to excess and smoking. I wish you much success with both of them. It's hard to do both at the same time.
Many of us struggle with the same things you do. Listening more; talking less, attempting to put away our judgmental reactions to others and working on our character to become more positive and at peace with the world. Ain't easy. I commend you for your efforts and I support them.
It's better to have one work of great quality a year than more but with less.
Have a wonderful New Year.

Tim Smith said...

Thanks, everyone - just trying to have a little fun with this.

Sarah, your comment put me in mind of something I was asked while taking a physical - "Do you have a drinking problem?" "No, I've never had a problem drinking." I'm not making light of either vice and yes, it's tough to quit. I kicked cigarettes once for ten years and I know I can do it again.

Fiona, I'll keep your advice in mind when my neighbor's linebacker husband is chasing me down the street.