Sunday, October 2, 2011

What is My Responsibility Regarding the Net?

“I don’t want to have to explain to my 12 year old daughter what this is!”

Greetings fans!

Welcome to Sweet and Sexy Divas where today I might be perceived as anything but that. *grins* I’m not posting as one of my muses, rather me, the author, who is also a wife and parent. I’m an erotica author as many of you may or may not know. It just so happens, I love looking at beautiful men. (Who doesn’t) In stages of dress or undress, together in couples or not, but it’s become a hobby of mine to collect pics of models and post them on my Facebook, my Menspirations blog, or my new Google Plus page.

The above pic was posted this past week on my Google page. For those of you who don’t use Google Plus, you can control who sees your posts, much like FB. Public, friends, or you have a specific circle where everyone will not see your posts.

Now, the above comment was placed under the pic. I immediately removed this person from my friends cirle, who I believe was another author. What I said in response, I didn’t post it publically, meaning only my friends could see the photo. The person proceeded to say well, take me out of that group so I won’t see pics like this please, thanks.

OOOHHKAY. People, you may disagree, but this photo isn’t offensive. Yes, he’s naked, he is covered and actually, this photo is from a group of photos that are selling necklaces for men. *laughs* Yep, that’s what I said. The point is, he IS COVERED, it wasn’t posted publically but this person said, ‘how will I explain this to my 12 year old.’

Okay, let’s just be real folks. Your 12 year old has most likely seen a naked male and or female in sex ed or in some of those magazines or even cartoons that are um, a little racy that they sneak and watch. Damnit people, get a grip. I know you, as a teen, had times where you looked at things away from the watchful eyes of your parents, just like I did and again, it’s not a pornographic picture.
What about this?

This is an ad for the Armani Exchange selling underwear. Model Clint Mauro in a pose, on a beach. Is this any less offensive or erm, detrimental to your kid? This could be seen anywhere. In Vogue, Cosmo, any women’s or men’s fashion magazine, and not even on the net. Even if it was, why is it considered harmful and if it was, why should I be concerned as long as I put it on my page?

As authors, bloggers, etc, we do have the responsibility to post disclaimers on our web pages and blogs. Under 18 should not visit. Blog is rated R. Parental advisories, but again, this wasn’t my blog. This was my own personal Google Page where one single photo was only posted for my friends to see.

After that, I made sure I posted, the pics and blog posts I put here are of adult nature. If you’re not comfortable, please unfriend me. The same issues were over at FB. People have the right to report your book covers and pictures anonymously. You get warnings, sometimes even blocked from using your account.

I recently got a warning about this photo which I posted on my wall back in April.

What’s wrong with this picture? Her nipple is showing. *shakes head* Oh my! This is really offensive! I’ve gotta cover my kid’s eyes! They can’t see that. In all reality people, they see and hear more crap when they watch South Park and or Family Guy. Can you always shelter them? No. What good will it do? None in my opinion. Your 12 year old kid has most likely seen plenty of nudity in one form or fashion so why should any of these pictures be offensive?

Again, I’m a parent, I’m an erotica writer. I have a 13 year old son who knows I write gay romance. I took the time to explain to him how love is beautiful in every form. We also had the talk about sex at age nine and we’ll be having a refresher in a couple of months. I take an active role in what he listens to and watches, however, I’m not naïve enough to think he won’t see anything. I’m not blaming anyone for what they have on their pages. Not reporting people for their naked lady pics on websites, and even if I wasn’t a writer, I still wouldn’t.

I believe in freedom of speech and allowing everyone to make their own choices as to what’s offensive. If you don’t like the photo, click away, unfriend, whatever. The bottom line is, it’s not my responsibility to censor myself because you don’t want to.

There are solutions that both Google and FB can do to make this easier for everyone instead of closing down accounts and giving warnings. I’ll go on and explore that next time.

For now, give me your thoughts. Tell me if I’m way off base. We’re all adults here. I can take it.

Thanks for listening!

The Literary Triad - 
Michael Mandrake - http://tabooindeed.blogspot.com
Twitter - http://twitter.com/#!/rawiyamikembl


vampiremorbius said...

Excellent post

Angel Martinez said...

Well said, m'dear. I'm a mom, too. An astounding percentage of erotic fiction writers are - and of the M/M writers who are female? Most of us are moms.

I'm sorry, but when my son was underage (he's grown now) I MONITORED HIS INTERNET USE. I made sure I knew what he was looking at, that he was visible while surfing, that he was using sites I APPROVED.

That's MY responsibility as a mother. Not Joe Pornographer's. Not Ms. Lovely Erotic Writer's. Not Horny Teenager down the Street's. MINE. These folks who go around saying "Oh, no, what if my kids see!" are forfeiting their responsibility as parents and taking the lazy way out.

Heaven forbid we might actually discuss important issues with our kids instead of letting TV teach them *rolls eyes*

Tina Donahue said...

Wow - that first guy is yummy!

And yes, as a teen my BFF and I would go to the local drugstore that had some racy magazines on its racks. We'd giggle and flip through the pages until someone would run us off.

I understand a parent's concern. That's why site's have that 'adult warning' before letting anyone in.

Rawiya said...

@ Vamp Thank you so much for always visiting me!

Rawiya said...


TY! I really appreciate it. We have to monitor our kids, its our jobs as parents.

The comment by this person really set something off and I'm glad I could bring it in an educating way rather than a rant. LOL


Rawiya said...


Exactly momma! They should have 18 and Over ratings, I agree but I wont go around reporting people who do post pics on FB. The next post I'll discuss that part.

Its rather sad that people take the time to do this.

Edward Kendrick said...

Great post. When will we see part 2?

Rawiya said...


November 2nd!

TY for stopping in!

Fiona McGier said...

Amen, sister(s) (and brother?)
[Don't want to leave any of you out!]

People who are offended FOR their kids don't talk TO their kids! Mine are 23, 21, 20 and 18, and I've always talked to them about the important issues of life, including sex. To not do so is to neglect an essential part of your responsibility as a parent. And to set your kids up to be used/abused by those who will take advantage of their ignorance, or the crap they learned from their friends, some of whom actually still believe that you "can't get pregnant the first time", or "being taught about condoms is wrong."

I read a quote recently that said if you are wondering why there seem to be more stupid people around, it's because smart people use condoms. Painful, but true!

Missy Jane said...

I can completely understand you being upset over the 12 year old comment because you seem to have done everything in your power to keep your pics and posts for the eyes of adults who should already know what kind of stuff you post. As a mom, I'm very strict with my daughters about their internet usage and what they watch on TV (Family Guy, South Park and the like are off limits).
When it comes to book covers and such, I have a bookshelf in my closet they know to stay away from. Of course, it's all on their honor. I'm sure they've peeked when I'm not home, but they KNOW I wouldn't approve and that makes all the difference.
Great post :-)

SJ said...

Extremely well said, Shar! And more than that... my feelings exactly!!

Thank you for saying it so eloquently!


Adele Dubois said...

I'm late joining this discussion, but just read your post.

Over the years I've posted many suggestive pics on my website, blog and FB. Recently, FB contacted me to remove a few of them, even though the pics showed only male nudity from the hips, up. Go figure.

Regarding your picture of the man and woman, and the woman's nipple showing through the fabric--I didn't object to the sheer fabric. I did, however, find the male's aggressive posture alarming. He's holding the woman by the throat. Could that have been why the pic was flagged? It has very dark undertones. Just curious.

Best of luck with your releases!


Rawiya said...

@Fiona. Harsh but true.

Whats wrong with talking to your kids? I mean, telling them?

People need to start taking responsibility on their own.

:D Thanks for commenting

Rawiya said...

@Missy Jane

Thank you for the stop in.

I just want people to get real. Its not an offensive pic, none of them are.


Rawiya said...


Thank you so much for stopping by! I appreciate the support!


Rawiya said...


Thanks for the well wishes and the stop by. Maybe you're right. However in my opinion, its not much worse than seeing women in chains in BDSM pics. :D

If FB would be more specific as to why they are flagging your pics or page, the it would be easier. No person should be able to flag you anonymously.

Thanks for stopping by.