Sunday, June 19, 2011

In honor of Father's Day, I say there is nothing sexier than a man holding a baby!

Okay, maybe other images heat up your imagination when you think of a sexy man. But having raised our 4 kids with my husband, I feel safe making the title statement. Who we are as women is a curious mixture of hormones and life experiences, all of which combine to create what we find attractive.

Various theories abound as to what turns us women on. Some say power and wealth is what we seek in a life mate, since our ultimate goal is a good provider. Some theorize that we seek to recreate our first loving relationship with a spouse, which is good news if you and your mom are/were close, not so good if not. Biologists say that without even being aware of it, we seek out males with pheromones that smell different from our family, so that our children with that man will be healthy. Some women are attracted to men who are body-builders, some prefer thin men. Some like light-skin and blond hair, some prefer tall, dark and handsome.

Me, I can find something sexy about almost all men. I can be turned on by blonds, brunets, redheads; white, black and brown-skinned men. But to me, the ultimate sexy man is one who can lovingly hold a baby, showing his gentle, nurturing side. A man who can share himself with a helpless infant will be able to be gentle, loving and vulnerable with his woman as well. He will be a true life-partner and best friend.

Don't get me wrong, I know how attractive bad boys can be. Been there, done that, have some great anecdotes I could share some other time. ;-D But when a woman is ready to settle down, it's time to look for a man who can gaze at a new human life with the same awe and wonder that I feel. So today, let's honor the men in our life who partner with us to raise the next generation. Happy Father's Day to them all!

In all of my Reyes Family Romances, people fall in love, have hot monkey sex, get married, and get pregnant...not in any particular order. In Love Therapy, Miguel Reyes willingly takes on the role of Poppi to the 4-year-old daughter of the woman he fell in love with years ago. Alicia Torres returned to town after leaving her cheating husband; but he asks her to come back to care for him in his last days. He has sired other children with other women, yet never acted like fatherhood was more than a single act. When on his deathbed he tells his youngest child that he is her father, the most important man in her life, with childish innocence she sets him straight. And Alicia later calls Miguel to share what her daughter said about him.

"He told Juleesa that he is her father, and that she is his daughter. That he and I are her parents. He asked her if she understood what that means.”
“And she said that she didn’t really understand what that means, but that I had told her that he is her father. He asked her if she knew what a father is, and she shook her head. He said a father is the most important man in a child’s life. That’s when he lost control of the conversation. Juleesa gave him a weird look and told him, ‘No, you silly man. The most important man to me is my Poppi.’ Miguel, I was holding my breath by that point. I didn’t know what to say. But I never got a chance to say anything, because when he asked Juleesa to explain why her Poppi is so important, she babbled on and on about you.”
Smiling, Miguel asked, “She did? What did she say?”
“She said that you play games with her and sometimes you can even beat her at them. She said that you tell her stories and read to her. She said that you snuggle with her and watch cartoons with her on Saturday mornings, and you eat cereal out of the box with her, even though I tell you not to. She said that you pick her up from daycare sometimes, and you make dinner for her, then you take her to the park and push her on the swing. She said that you sing songs for her and tell her that she is your favorite girl. She said that you tell her she is the daughter of your heart and that you love her. She said that she feels safe when you let her sit in your lap, and that she likes when you carry her to bed and tuck her in.”
Alicia stopped and took a deep breath.
“Honestly, she said it all like that, in one big breath. Then she started to cry and told me that she misses you, and she wants to go home. Miguel, I didn’t know what to do or to say! She climbed onto my lap and I rocked her, and agreed with her that we would go home as soon as we could. I assured her that I would let her talk to you first when I called you tonight. I held her and rocked back and forth with her until she fell asleep on my lap. I carried her into my bedroom and put her down to sleep in my bed, since she’s been sleeping with me lately.”
Miguel took a deep breath.
“God, I miss you both so much. Just hearing how much I mean to her makes me feel good, but it also makes me ache to hug her…to hold her on my lap and tell her how much I love her.”
He sighed heavily.
“Miguel, there’s more. After I got done putting her into bed I went back in to see how Alan was doing, because he had looked so upset and gotten increasingly agitated while she was talking. He was so still when I got back into the room, I was concerned. Then I realized that a miracle had occurred…Miguel, he was crying! I have never seen that man show feelings or emotions of any kind; not any that were real and not calculated to gain him anything. He was just crying…tears were flowing, but he has limited ability to take in breaths, so it was hard for him to cry. It was probably physically painful.”
Miguel was quiet.
“I asked him what was wrong, was he hurting anywhere, and he nodded. He raised his arm and touched himself in the chest. I asked him what hurt and he gasped out, ‘My heart.’ I was worried about a heart attack, but then he grabbed my wrist with one hand and held it, while he explained that he had never realized just how important a man could be in the life of a small child. And the fact that you are more important to his daughter than he will ever be, caused him to feel deep pain and regret."

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Tina Donahue said...

I agree, Fiona - a guy holding a baby - wow, that is so cool. There's an insurance ad where this big guy is holding a baby in one hand. The baby is curled up in a ball. That is just an amazing image. :)

Delaney Diamond said...

That's a deep excerpt, Fiona. I have to agree with you that a man with a child, not just a baby, is so sexy. I also like to see pictures or videos of men trying to do their daughters' hair. It's so cute.

Selena Robins said...

Great blog, Fiona. I totally agree with you and the others. So sweet to see a dad or uncle or brother connect with a small child, not to mention it's adorable. :)

Adele Dubois said...

Fiona--Men who take fatherhood seriously and raise their children to be good citizens are very sexy. Good post.


Sarah J. McNeal said...

Fiona, girl, this was a great blog. Men who can show their nurturing side certainly win my heart--and my respect. I loved your excerpt for Love Therapy especially the last paragraph. I melted when I read it.