Monday, May 2, 2011

Leisure to Profession- A Look at Before

From Leisure Writing to Professional Writing

I don’t remember when or how I got into Leisure writing. Somehow I found this yahoo forum and from there I began dabbling. I go back and read some of my earlier writing…back then and think OMG look at all the grammatical errors, punctuation errors and I laugh.

Being able to laugh at your-self is a great quality to have. It means you’re totally comphy inside.

I didn’t realize how doing forum writing gave me a good grasp on word-weaving until a reader pointed it out to me on a chat. While I thought I was questionable, this person felt I was remarkable. I was so tickled I didn’t know what to say. So I began to break down what I did learn.

Forum writing is great because you can have never ending stories…much like a soap opera.
The negative side is in professional writing for novels you HAVE to end the story.

I learned how to write alone and co -write with others.

Character Bios became long with key phrases, or quotes, etc.

Plotting! I looooove plotting and it was fun because you can do whatever you want without any constraints. Personally I did try to once fashion a character in the setting of a popular series. It didn’t work for me. I found that I had to just be me, couldn’t be anyone else or try to mimic them. So I began forming my own complex story lines.

A lot of mistakes a new Author makes, I made during the forum writing. I had the “Heroine” who could do it all, who was responsible for all, immortal, and damn if it wasn’t tiring keeping her up on that pedestal.

And technique. I was so 'raw' from what I was told, that I took some classes and joined a few loops, a crit group for crash course in self editing,showing more vs telling, from there things fell into place with each story I published and each course free or low cost I took. Education is never wasted and it's important to learn your craft as much as possible.

Armageddon and Pandora co-written with Mercury Sexton

I decided I wanted to do a young vampire to go with our other one, this time with a royal blood with an addiction to drug infused blood and alcohol, a young woman who had been kicked out of every boarding school she was sent to for bad behavior. Pandora emerged with a vengence and Geddon bless his dark soul is thrust into her life under council orders.

Here’s a long snippet---Enjoy

"I'm going to taste you now sweet boy." Pandora bent his head to the side and sank her
fangs in, feeding off his arousal and fear. "It's okay I promise you...you won't remember a thing." He felt so good under her his blood easing her hunger and feeding her need, she didn't feel the air charge behind her. Her other senses kicked in. she turned with the human and narrowed her eyes on Vladic her father’s handler with his gun drawn. He gripped her and yanked her free of her human, she screamed in distress.

"Nice to see you again Princess. Your father inquires about your health," he chuckled low and dragged her away from her dinner.

Armageddon watched the patrons dance and imbibe themselves on large quantities of alcohol. In his back pocket of his leather pants, he felt his phone vibrate. Grabbing it he flipped it open and read the text message with a frown.
Royal Princess. Second Floor. Must protect. Orders.Fuuuuuck.

That was the last thing he wanted to do tonight. With a curt response he flipped his phone closed and started toward the stairs in a half run, pushing people out of his way. Climbing the stair two at a time, he withdrew his custom made blades that hooked to his elbow and his forearms with belts. He kicked the door in at the scream, his eyes immediately drawn to the naked female, and then the man holding her. "Why can't you fuckers ever get a real job instead of picking on people?" He snarled.

Pandora clawed at Vald with her sharp claws, the human cowered into the corner of the bed holding his still bleeding neck. "He's going to die Vlad.” Pandy didn’t want him to come to harm. After all he was just a treat.

"What's the price of one puny humans life when getting you home will give me what I seek" He gripped her hands in his large one. "Careful my Milaya moyA," he growled in her ear. "You have grown into quite the pretty woman." he raked his lecherous gaze rake over her.

Vlad turned to the intruder. "Stay out of business that is not your own. I'm here at the bequest of her father"

"Looks like she doesn't want to go to me. And unfortunately for you, I have orders from the Council of Craiovescu so that means you're S.O.L. Let her go. Now." He took a threatening step toward them, his arm swords held into a ready position as his trench coat flared out around him.

Pandora shook loose from the hold and materialized clothes onto her body. "You Vlad are always in the shadows to grab me, fill me with a syringe of drugs to drag me back where no one wants me but for political gain. This time Vlad, I got political backup myself. You may have to answer to my father. My father has to answer to the Council. I want to thank you for interrupting my dinner. She grabbed his cock and squeezed. His pants vanishing. Now how does it feel to be watched to be leered at. Ehh it's actually quite small for a vampire." She brought her mouth to his tip and licked down the length, her tongue searching for the throbbing vein that kept it hard. Without warning and a sadistic smirk she trailed her fangs down and bit in feeding from his unimpressive phallus. When she'd had enough she dropped him to the floor. "Next time I'll sever it and watch you bleed out." Licking her lips she stood back and faced the visitor." Thank you for your services," she turned and walked over to the human who was beginning to pass out. "I made you a promise," she sealed his neck with her tongue and wiped his mind putting him to sleep.

"Do svidAniya Princess. PokA for now. I have my orders" He dematerialized using his remaining energy from blood loss.

THe sheathed his swords with a closed expression riding his face. "Russian Princess, eh?" He shook his head making his long hair wave slightly against his dark leather jacket. He bowed a mocking bow to her. "До свидания Принцесса."

Pandora smiled at him. "I have not dismissed you yet." she quirked a brow, the meaning clear that he was beneath her station in life. "Next time come only when called. What’s your name? I have no need for protection. I can protect myself as you can well see." she crossed her arms under her breasts.

“They call me Armageddon, and you princess can fuck off—your Highness." His eyes narrowed at her, darkening the orbs to start bleeding red. "I could care less about what you think or want. If I'm given orders from the Council, then I see them through. End of story, period. You may be royalty but you don't rein over me испорченный надоедливый ребенок and you won't ever get your way. Your little playtime here wouldn't last with me." He turned on his combat boot and walked out the door, muttering in a mixture of Russian and other languages that he knew about spoiled royal brats and their needing to be spanked.


"I get my way; here off Council ground Royalty rules. Think of that before you turn your back on me Zhopa," she muttered under her breath, a dagger pressed to his kidney.

The growl that came from his throat was predatory as he felt her push him to the wall, semi surprised by her strength, but it was quickly gone to be replaced by a deeper, darker emotion that sprang to life uncalled. His hand grabbed her wrist, pulling her between him and the wall, one of his hands caught her wrists and the other was holding her to the wall around her throat. His bigger frame pinned her easier to the wall, keeping her there as his strength came out from behind the shield he kept up to fool others.

"Вы - испорченная маленькая сука и нуждаетесь в шлепании. I bow to no one, especially you." His presence suddenly turned dominate, smothering her as his aura turned black. "Я -истинный Владелец маленькая принцесса, Вы не хотите трахнуться со мной."

"Spoiled maybe a bitch definitely, who's going to spank me? Certainly not you? she scoffed.

"You are a true master in your own brain. Although your Russian is quite good. Trust me you don't want to fuck with me," she flipped his words back at him, yanking her arms out of his grasp and pushing his chest. "Kindly get out of my personal space before I attack" she warned.

Armageddon's eyes narrowed darkly, dangerously as he wrapped his hand in her hair and dragged her back into the bedroom. His anger had mounted and his dominate nature did not take kindly to be questioned or spoken to so rudely. Yanking down the chain from the ceiling, he wrapped it around her throat a few times clipping it through a metal loop then called up a wave of heat in his hand to melt it together and unbreakable. "Урок Вы будете учиться и учиться хорошо."

He took a step back, letting his trench coat to the floor.

“Do you always speak to your betters this way?" Her eyes sparkled dancing with anger a dark color of blue. "You think a wife beater and a studded belt will scare me. I've seem worse than you on a good day. Yet you have no manners what are you called?" She growled and raked her hand across his wife beater slicing her nails into his skin.

"A better?" He growled grabbing her hands and used his body to force her back on the bed. The shallow wounds bleed onto her as he leaned above her, his massive body blocking the lights from above. "Little girl, you only play at being a Royal. Your attitude is pure shit." He grasped both of her hands as he moved sitting on the bed, then pulled her stomach down over his lap and yanked her black mini skirt up over her hips. His hand ran over her firm globe, a growl of appreciation left his lips at her fine derrière. With no words spoken he brought his hand down hard, and repeated the process, smacking her harder and harder with each hit.

Pandora wriggled and bucked against his lap propelling herself backwards. "My attitude is normal for a ruined night" She buried her fangs into his leg ripping the material of his pants. He yanked her head back by her hair when she bite him, his eyes bore into hers as an open circle gag appeared in his hand. "You want to bite without permission? You'll be gagged." He forced her mouth open, placing the gag inside even when she struggled and put up a good fight. The gag stretched her jaw to remain open and wide, when that was in place he began his spanking of her ass.

To his surprise, the angry young princess, dematerialized away from him onto the other side of the bed. She took the gag out of her mouth and grabbed her dagger flinging it at him as she scrambled off the bed. The red welt on her neck burning from using powers to disintegrate it.

"Lay one more hand on me and I'll kill you."

He caught the dagger easily even at the speed she threw it at, he rotated it around his fingers a few times before sending it back and embedding it in the wall near her head. He stood with the presence of a predator, swept up his long trench coat pulling it on with a smirk on his face. "I believe now you have a good idea that I don't make idle threats, Принцесса. Good evening to you." He was out the door before she could protest, and heading out onto the dance floor in a matter of seconds before she could move an inch. Served the little brat right, especially a Princess who seemed to think the world revolved around her. Hopefully this would be the last meeting.

In the shadows he watched Pandora come down and order a drink. A frown shaped his brow and he pulled out his cell phone and texted the only number under 'L'. How old is Princess?

A few moments passed and a text was there.

Twenty years old. Armageddon grinned slowly, then texted back as he glanced up to watch Pandora drink down an alcoholic beverage.

Ur princess, doing 666x & drinking. He leaned against a wall, watching a rogue vampire try to be sneaky as he danced up a girl and was trying to draw her out of the crowd.

A text came, bringing a smile to his face. He walked through the crowd and waved down a bartender, showing him a picture and some info before pointing down at the Russian Princess. The bartender's look was aghast then disgusted and nodded his understanding, no words were needed and even if they had been, they wouldn't have been heard. The bartender turned to go and take the drink from Pandora's hands but the Vampiress was too fast and already out on the dance floor. Armageddon texted again, and the response was

On way. Get Rogue. Princess taken care of.*He flipped his phone closed before moving after the vampire and his prey. Geddon couldn’t take his eyes off of Pandora moving to Blood Veil’s metal beat blaring from the speakers, as she danged girl on girl, her eyes closed in pleasure enjoying her drink.

The main doors of the club opened, pouring a flood of moonlight and a ripple of power that was unmistakable inside. A tall woman walked inside the club with two men flanking her, who were draped in black from head to toe and each had a tattoo mark on the side of their left eyes to indicate the guards of the Lady.

Like the red sea, the crowd parted for her as she walked with purpose to the young vampires dancing it up on the floor. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the drink and the color of her eyes, blue, iridescence. She was high as a human junkie and didn't care that this could harm her relationship with the Council. Laerke, daughter of Ovid, Lady of Anchorage Alaska and Arlington Virginia stepped forward and broke the dance up with a look at the girl who was dancing with her charge. "Pandora," Laerke's voice was soft, yet it held power and a demand of obedience. In just the short time she had become Lady she had found her niche and she was ruling the way she was supposed to. Her hand shot out and took the glass from the young Vampiress and handed it off to one of her guards whose face remained stone.

"I wasn't through with that Laerke," she said, moving toward the guard to retrieve it.

Laerke stepped with her, blocking her exit. Her words were in Russian for public embarrassment was not something she did to teach anyone a lesson, plus the actions tonight would speak for themselves and Pandora would have to deal with the rumors speculation from people because they didn’t know the truth. "You are high, and you are drunk. Both are illegal since you are under 21. As my charge and a Council member, this cannot go unpunished for we are Law. You are further detained and will be brought back to the Compound for detox, purging and self-reflection. Your status as the only living Russian Princess will not help you this time Pandora. Go with dignity." She motioned to one of the guards with a flick of her wrist. She knew that this could go one of two ways; one would be that Pandora was going to fight until subdued, or she could come quietly. Laerke had her money on the first.

Pleased that it appeared she’d go easy she smiled as Pandora bowed her head in respect and moved through the dance floor. The behavior choice was short-lived as her ward launched herself against Geddon wrapping her body around him and sinking her fangs into his jugular. As she moved to pry the female Vampiress loose from the druid's throat, she was stopped by a look in his eyes and a hand that waved her off as he cradled Pandora's head with his other. Laerke bit her lip, not knowing if it was a good thing to allow this to happen. The Druid was one of the darker members and he had been known to have blood that did not satiate the vampire's thirst but induced it.

Are you sure? She sent out the gentle thought. She watched his lips curl up into a dark half grin that made her skin crawl. He was doing something to Pandora, perhaps teaching her a lesson? Bring her back to the Compound?

She frowned when he shook his head shortly. A word popped up in her mind and her eyes narrowed even more. How long? She must be held accountable for her actions, and bringing her to Ravenderken will not satisfy Blaise, nor Ovid. She is the last of her kind who can carry a child.

Don't worry Mistress. I won't impregnate her, nor slip between her thighs like I had intended. One of my kind is all the Council can handle. His lips curled up in a wickedly devilish grin.

Two weeks, maybe four. It depends on how long she can withstand my 'attentions'. Blaise and Ovid have access to my home, as well as you. I'll be awaiting your visits. Learke watched a burst of black mist rose up from the floor engulf around the Druid vampire and the Russian Princess. When it cleared they were gone. Disappointment hit her.” Young vampires, “she mumbled and disappeared back to the compound to give report to Ovidivu.


Avril Ashton said...

Great stuff, I liked the excerpts!

Tina Donahue said...

Awesome excerpt, Hales!! :)

Delaney Diamond said...

I think it's important that we're constantly learning, even if it's just to refresh our memories about things we already know. It'll only make us better writers.

Hales said...


I cleaned it up some and took out some hopping but this was done two yrs before I decided to publish

Rawiya said...

Wow, pretty good considering it was before you pubbed. I love the storyline. Any chance you'll clean it up and try pubbing it!

Much success as always and I feel the same about my fanfic. I recently redone my site for it and looking back at all the old stories, I laughed at the errors I made. I'm still not great at it but a lot better than what I was.

Wonderful post!

Sarah J. McNeal said...

Wonderful excerpt, Hales. You always amaze me in the most pleasant ways.

Karin* said...

Hey, Hales! Good going on the writing! Loved the excerpts!!

Karin Tabke* aka Harlow!

Fiona McGier said...

Still not a fan of men spanking women to make them "mind"--I can't identify with women who act like spoiled children. But this was an interesting excerpt. And we all get better as we have more practice.

Hales said...

Rawya grr I never spell it right. I'm gonna give you a nickname!

We have 16 storylines with multiple sub plots and we'll end up publishing them eventually. Thanks

Hey Sarah. LOL I was gonna do something tot normal :) but changed my mind

Karin- Thanks for coming over :)

Fi lol no you don't strike me as the type to like the whole spanking thing :) This one fit well with the situ you should see how he detoxed her lol. Lord she hated him with vinigar and spite