My Life as An Exotic Dancer
Ohh Where to begin….
Let’s begin at the beginning. ‘Stripping’ can be perceived in many different ways.
The people closest to you will object. Until they realize you don’t need monetary means from them. And then it becomes the ‘untalked’ about job. You simply become your own boss. I danced from the age of Twenty to Twenty-seven. I danced in a hole in the wall non-for-profit club in my hometown and a club in New York. When my kids were small. I had an apartment here in KC and one In New York that I traveled to whenever the bug hit me to go.
Why did I chose to dance? I’m intelligent, hungry for knowledge and I get bored really easy. So let’s break it down. I hated working 9-5 for a pittance, with half a degree. I enjoyed leaving my babies with family three nights a week enabling me to spend the rest of the time with them. Was it money that drove me? Yes and No. While money of course is nice. I wanted to be with my family as much as I could. As a then suddenly single parent with three toddlers, it was impossible. If I stayed at the 9-5 then I’d miss out on 95% of their first years of life. I reasoned I had plenty of time to get a regular, ‘respectable job’ in the eyes of the masses.
Like beauticians pay for their chair, In a club you pay for your spot. 125 a night to the house for rent, 25 for the bouncer, 10 for the DJ and if security starts your car on frigid days a tip for them as well. The rest is yours to take.
So I took my ray of sunshine smile and my compact and very in shape body and made it work for me. I learned pole routines by watching others and asking. I earned many a bruise, knocked my noggin a few times, and got to business into getting into the best shape of my life.
There are positives of dancing and negatives.
To be out there, naked, near naked…you HAVE to be completely comfortable with yourself both inside and out or you’ll end up being ‘a drunk’ dancer, someone who has to drink to get through the night. The stage is your time to entrance, play and bring a fashion of entertainment to the patrons.
A time to be witty, seductive and charming at the same time.
Unlike those who go table to table asking if you can do a dance for others, I was invited. Most of the time I didn’t dance at all. See the thing is that while a good portion enjoys a dance. A majority enjoy conversation, intelligent conversation so much more. Some people are so shy in public they lack social skills. Some are just lonely and others are randy males. If anyone were to ask me my favorites I’d say in this order. The Irish with their accent, The Uniformed-Cops,firemen…etc , bachelors and bachelorette’s and CEO’s . Add in a few fellas who have feet fetishes—and you get the best foot massages available ever and at the same time paid for your time.
You get your unruly grabby hands types of characters but deescalating isn’t too difficult. If it’s a big problem that’s what security is for. Normally it doesn’t come to that. Everyone is there to enjoy drinking or watching.
Behind the scenes is frantic. At my club, the one in NY we had a Brazilian costume maker who came in to sell. From her I had the prettiest costumes that came to about 5 grand. I enjoyed the costumes more than anything. There is a self empowerment that comes with being on stage.
No it’s not the same as a musician or an artist or even a movie star. It’s different because it’s you. You have the power to make people want you, want to be with you, sit with you, befriend you, offer you all kinds of services… Body augmentation is usually the first offer. I was offered but I liked my body the way it was. Other things offered- better apartments-side jobs for corporations. The networking is vastly different but has great perks, even educational. While you’re pretty and they’ve come to know you, they don’t offer on just a pretty face alone. Give them sex and you won’t get a damn thing. But share yourself with them, your dreams, fears and hopes and they will do their damndest to help you if they can. Listen to them and offer your advice or a different perception and they’ll keep coming back for more.
Why’d I quit? Kids were old enough to understand and I was ready for a change. That part of my life was done. I’d met both great and crazy people. I learned more about myself than I thought possible and it was just time for growth. So I left got a ‘real job’ and went to college. I missed the easy money but moving forward seemed more important than remaining stuck in one place.
One of my sisters dances, she has all my gear. Last year she received her bachelor’s in Psychology and is working now toward her masters. I have many friends who had masters degrees and decided to make their living in entertainment. Not many see the positive that can come out of something positively sinful. All of my sisters money paid for her four year education to a private college with cash. No loans. Restating-For all the judging that is done, there are a host of women who use the profession as a stepping stone to a better life.
Physical Shape Wise? We’re going to get a damn pole in our house. I was in the best shape of my life dancing. Go online and Check out Pole 101. Go to Youtube and watch the Championship Pole Dancing Competitions. The Spinning, sliding, Contorting artform is growing very popular.
It’s not unlike Silk rope dancing done, except it’s not that high and you can do so much more in that art. It uses the same flexibility, and ability to use all muscles in the body. I’m not talking about feet on the stage, I’m talking about six feet up, flipped upside down and the only thing keeping you still is your side abs and one underarm. How you get down is up to you.