Sunday, February 27, 2011

Pole Dancing You Say?....

My Life as An Exotic Dancer stripper images Pictures, Images and Photos

Ohh Where to begin….

Let’s begin at the beginning. ‘Stripping’ can be perceived in many different ways.
The people closest to you will object. Until they realize you don’t need monetary means from them. And then it becomes the ‘untalked’ about job. You simply become your own boss. I danced from the age of Twenty to Twenty-seven. I danced in a hole in the wall non-for-profit club in my hometown and a club in New York. When my kids were small. I had an apartment here in KC and one In New York that I traveled to whenever the bug hit me to go.

Why did I chose to dance? I’m intelligent, hungry for knowledge and I get bored really easy. So let’s break it down. I hated working 9-5 for a pittance, with half a degree. I enjoyed leaving my babies with family three nights a week enabling me to spend the rest of the time with them. Was it money that drove me? Yes and No. While money of course is nice. I wanted to be with my family as much as I could. As a then suddenly single parent with three toddlers, it was impossible. If I stayed at the 9-5 then I’d miss out on 95% of their first years of life. I reasoned I had plenty of time to get a regular, ‘respectable job’ in the eyes of the masses.
Like beauticians pay for their chair, In a club you pay for your spot. 125 a night to the house for rent, 25 for the bouncer, 10 for the DJ and if security starts your car on frigid days a tip for them as well. The rest is yours to take.

So I took my ray of sunshine smile and my compact and very in shape body and made it work for me. I learned pole routines by watching others and asking. I earned many a bruise, knocked my noggin a few times, and got to business into getting into the best shape of my life.

stripper images Pictures, Images and Photos

There are positives of dancing and negatives.

To be out there, naked, near naked…you HAVE to be completely comfortable with yourself both inside and out or you’ll end up being ‘a drunk’ dancer, someone who has to drink to get through the night. The stage is your time to entrance, play and bring a fashion of entertainment to the patrons.
A time to be witty, seductive and charming at the same time.

Unlike those who go table to table asking if you can do a dance for others, I was invited. Most of the time I didn’t dance at all. See the thing is that while a good portion enjoys a dance. A majority enjoy conversation, intelligent conversation so much more. Some people are so shy in public they lack social skills. Some are just lonely and others are randy males. If anyone were to ask me my favorites I’d say in this order. The Irish with their accent, The Uniformed-Cops,firemen…etc , bachelors and bachelorette’s and CEO’s . Add in a few fellas who have feet fetishes—and you get the best foot massages available ever and at the same time paid for your time.
You get your unruly grabby hands types of characters but deescalating isn’t too difficult. If it’s a big problem that’s what security is for. Normally it doesn’t come to that. Everyone is there to enjoy drinking or watching.

healthy pole dancer Pictures, Images and Photos

Behind the scenes is frantic. At my club, the one in NY we had a Brazilian costume maker who came in to sell. From her I had the prettiest costumes that came to about 5 grand. I enjoyed the costumes more than anything. There is a self empowerment that comes with being on stage.

No it’s not the same as a musician or an artist or even a movie star. It’s different because it’s you. You have the power to make people want you, want to be with you, sit with you, befriend you, offer you all kinds of services… Body augmentation is usually the first offer. I was offered but I liked my body the way it was. Other things offered- better apartments-side jobs for corporations. The networking is vastly different but has great perks, even educational. While you’re pretty and they’ve come to know you, they don’t offer on just a pretty face alone. Give them sex and you won’t get a damn thing. But share yourself with them, your dreams, fears and hopes and they will do their damndest to help you if they can. Listen to them and offer your advice or a different perception and they’ll keep coming back for more.

Why’d I quit? Kids were old enough to understand and I was ready for a change. That part of my life was done. I’d met both great and crazy people. I learned more about myself than I thought possible and it was just time for growth. So I left got a ‘real job’ and went to college. I missed the easy money but moving forward seemed more important than remaining stuck in one place.

One of my sisters dances, she has all my gear. Last year she received her bachelor’s in Psychology and is working now toward her masters. I have many friends who had masters degrees and decided to make their living in entertainment. Not many see the positive that can come out of something positively sinful. All of my sisters money paid for her four year education to a private college with cash. No loans. Restating-For all the judging that is done, there are a host of women who use the profession as a stepping stone to a better life.

Physical Shape Wise? We’re going to get a damn pole in our house. I was in the best shape of my life dancing. Go online and Check out Pole 101. Go to Youtube and watch the Championship Pole Dancing Competitions. The Spinning, sliding, Contorting artform is growing very popular.

It’s not unlike Silk rope dancing done, except it’s not that high and you can do so much more in that art. It uses the same flexibility, and ability to use all muscles in the body. I’m not talking about feet on the stage, I’m talking about six feet up, flipped upside down and the only thing keeping you still is your side abs and one underarm. How you get down is up to you.



Tina Donahue said...

Wow - I never knew or would have guessed. You've led quite the interesting life!! Methinks, I'm envious.:)

Sarah J. McNeal said...

What a way to keep in shape. I'd fall out in a heap just wearing those stilettos. Loved the video of your competition. I never knew there was an outgo of cash before there was an income.

Rawiya said...

That's awesome Hales!

I wanted to do that years ago before I had kids but I chickened out!

Lovely to see that you embarked on something new!

James L. Hatch said...

My daughters were beautiful by almost any standard. One danced; the other is on the cover of "The Empress of Tridon". Guys bought the dancer cars, bailed her out of jail...whatever. Unlike you, she let the attention go to her head. She was a mess. It only took her about ten years to totally destroy her life. Now she uses a walker to get from A to B and lives with enormous pain. Dancing is okay, but the girls need to be smart enough to leave the fast living on the stage.

Delaney Diamond said...

Sorry to hear about your daughter, James. That's so sad.

Hales, I've always been amazed by the athleticism displayed by strippers, and the video you shared was a good example of it.

It was interesting to read about your experience, because I only hear of the seedier side of stripping, including stories from a guy friend who used to do what you call security. It's good to know it doesn't turn out badly for everyone, and some people take advantage of the opportunities it presents.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Hales said...

Awh James, I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. It can get to the head and a few who don't have a plan before they go in can really fall in with the bad crowd. Lucky that never happened to me, even when I chose to drink a few. The rare times I had a bit too much my Italian bosses took care of me, they took care of everyone... and then gave us the lecture afterward. That was in NY.

There are lots of women who make it a career, stay in shape, become, home owners and treat it as more of an athletic career. There are places you go to that to do lap or table dances you can sit on their laps and places that are 16 inches away.

You just have to pick the right place for you and learn what to do.

Yeah. I have had a very full life so far. Between the Military, Danging and vactions :)

You can work at a seedy place and make a killing BUT you have to set boundaries if there's touching allowed on the breasts. Also a place is only as good as its Boss.

That being said, the Boss has to ensure the safety of his girls and that they matter to him or a lot will fall into the seedier side outside of the doors.

Redameter said...

I would say it is a dangerous life and you certianly have to know things before going into something like this. Most don't and most don't succeed. But I do see where it would keep you in shape.

Best to you Hales

Love and blessings

Teresa K. said...

Wow Hales,

I new your beautiful, but this is fascinating. I've always been a pretty and sexy lady, but always been thick.

When I was younger I wanted to dance exotic to pay for my college, because I knew girls who did and didn't owe money on school.

However, being thick just didn't do it. Besides what kind of men want to see a thick woman on stage.

I'm not obesed but I full figured. Even now at 47 I would love to be the temptress. What can I say I think I'm beautiful and I love the ideal of having power over the men. Just call me conceited I guess, lol.

I admire you for what you chose to do to have more time with your children. I missed so much with my son, working a 9 to 5 job. I missed his first steps, his first real sentence.

You were a great mom who only wanted the best for you and your children.

James I'm so sorry about your daughter. Have a great day Hales.


Ari Thatcher said...

Hales, good for you for finding something you enjoy and making it work for you! I've known some others who've danced at certain stages. I envy you all the comfort with your body.

Renee Vincent said...

I'm still in awe...I had no idea Hales that this was a part of your life. I am truly amazed and a bit envious....I am very comfortable with myself, but I don't think I could ever strip and dance in front of strangers, leaving myself that vulnerable and exposed.

Good for you in keeping your head about it all and knowing when it was time to walk away from it for your kids sake. Not many mothers have the sense to do that. I applaud you.

Hales said...

Teresa I'm thick boned but was then muscular. Big hips, nice bust and a nice butt. You'd be amazed. Really when it comes down to it guys don't discriminate they like all shapes and sizes. One time there was some asshole who said I looked like I ate an entire pizza before shift. I smiled politely and didn't engage, I didn't need to because my Albanian regular was there. Once a month he came in to shower me with ones knowing it pissed me off, having to count them to turn them in for bigger bills. He over heard it and and doubled what he normally showered. I was tickled and mad at the same time.Because of the amount and how long we have to make it off stage to the next person. The man grovelled literally. That was the only real thing mean said to me in my entire dancing days.

Thanks Rita. You're right lots don't do homework before picking a club or asking about their clientele. It's always a gamble but it can be very rewarding. All walks of life come in so just have to be careful.

Thanks Renee I was envious over my friends who had great husbands who didn't leave them high and dry alone. But I'd never regret one moment of dancing. It served it's purpose till a new occupation came my way and I paid a majority of my first unfinished degree. I really should get the few remaining credits. I moved home to my sick mom instead of finishing and picked RT as a new degree and started over. I msut say I hated paying all over again lol.

Fiona McGier said...

Hales you are so multi-layered! I'm in awe. I never even posed nude for the art dept. in college because my Scottish Dad was such a prude that I knew somehow he'd see a painting of me, and I'd be disowned yet again! Many's a time he took my picture out of his wallet, claiming he had no daughter anymore. Doing this kind of dancing would have made him burn the picture! (Now do you all understand why I can't find highlanders in kilts sexy?)
But I didn't realize there was so much athleticism in the movements of pole-dancing. I know that stripping works up a real sweat because I've done it, though never for money. But I won't ever go into a club that has stripping or pole dancing, or any kind of mostly naked female entertainment, because I can't figure what on earth I'm supposed to be enjoying there. Looking at boobs? I can always look at mine, free. Naked females? Doesn't interest me. Men drooling into their beer? Unless it's for me, not interested. My husband drooling into his beer? Again, if it's not for me, I don't want to be there.
More power to you, for being strong enough to do what you had to do to support your kids. Life throws us curves and we have to adapt. You seem to always land on your feet. Someday when your kids are older you can tell them stories that will make them realize just how strong and determined their Mom is. Then they will understand what real-life hero means.

Hales said...

Ari I think forgot to say thanks for coming!

Fiona lol I so adore you. I did pose for a magazine once. It was a fun experience and very sexy. The images haven't been in circulation for six yrs or so now.

I go to clubs with my fiance, we talk to the girls and chat. But I also go to bdsm events and he wants to go to a swinger thing to see what it's about but not to particiapte. I wonder bout that he's not a sharing kinda guy so whats the point besides his curiosity?

About being disowned. I'll say this. My mother and my brothers were not happy. But once they saw that I didn't fall into a bad crowd and didn't need their money or the government's they were good with it.

I figure it's less embarassing for my mother to say I was a dancer than for her to say in her circle of friends I recieved food stamps or state assistance. Her pride would've scoffed more at that.

Besides the fact that I was an adult and I always do what I feel like damn what anyone thinks they just accepted it and figured when I had enough I had enough.

They had a choice to deal with it or deal with it lol there wasn't another option. So if I happened to see some of my mothers patients at the club I reminded them to keep it professional and my name out of their mouths for my moms comfort or I'd have them banned.

Honey you should see some of those men. Cops, Firefighters and let me tell you the New Yorkan ones were volunteer only and most were Irish or Scotish *sighs* Them was my fav's the broge or however you spell it. SHiver me timbers so polite and unfrisky and lord did they love them some biracial women!

Anne Rainey said...

this is absolutely amazing. And I think it's fabulous that you used to do this. I was never confident enough.

And that woman in the video is so fit!! My lord!